Contemplating the difference between aloneness and loneliness.
Society has taught us that being alone is inherently lonely. That sitting alone at lunch, whether at age 12 or 25 is something to be ashamed of and avoided at all costs. But while it's nice to share your time with others, it's even more important to learn how to share time with yourself - and actually enjoy it. I'm learning this lesson in real time now and though I believe and trust in it fully, it takes regular reinforcement to fully live and embody it in every day life.
This false idea of individual incompleteness supports our consumerist society because it keeps us wanting, buying and grasping for more under the guise of promised feelings of peace and fulfillment. It's the same with dating; once I meet my person, once I feel desired and wanted and loved, then I will feel whole and complete. Not only is this putting way too much pressure on others for personal fulfillment, it strips us of all agency as it relates to our own happiness and inner peace. Because if we can't be alone, if we associate feelings of loneliness with alone time, then we sell ourselves short and look for wholeness repeatedly in another. Then, when they inevitably let us down in one way or another, our peace is disrupted and we are left feeling ungrounded and out of control.
Alone time is sacred. It's something that should be prioritized, protected and held in reverence at all costs. So, if you are alone, enjoy being alone. Learn to enjoy yourself. There are plenty of people who are not alone but still feel lonely; and that - that is the saddest bit of it all. To be with someone and still feel alone.
