I felt like writing a lot today. Because I have anxiety, I like knowing what I am getting into before I read something, so here is what you can expect:

I love a late August Sunday. The plans from the summer have dwindled down. The weather is usually cooling off. While I do not regularly watch football, I love the sound of football in the background. I went for a walk today and it felt like my parents were alive again. And I had to get everything I needed done because we would be leaving for Sunday dinner soon. 

 

Sunday dinners  were always a special time for my family. Every Sunday, without fail, we would all gather at my parents house and my mom would make dinner for us. I do not know how the tradition started. When we all lived at home, we always ate dinner together on Sundays. We would laugh, argue, cry, and/or problem-solve as a family. Like a support group for what was going on in our lives. My mom always pretended that it was my dad who insisted on having them, but I know she loved them too. 

 

At my mom's memorial, the pastor had asked if anyone wanted to share a memory. Everyone looked around and no one wanted to get up and say anything, save for four-year old Rebecca who got up and told everyone our cat died too and was in heaven with mamaw. But then our neighbor of 28 years got up and started to talk about our family's love for one another. She mentioned how she always knew how dedicated we were because she would drive by my parents house on a Sunday, and the driveway would be filled with cars. I was so grateful she got up and shared that memory. I do not think I understood the significance of those dinners until she shared that memory. 

 

Missy, Ben and I still try to do at least one Sunday dinner a month. Usually we go to Ben's house because it is only a couple hundred yards from my parents old house. It just feels right to be going out to the country on a Sunday night. Eating together. Laughing together. Talking about the things we did, the things we loved, or the things we shopped for. It is my favorite tradition. 

So much has happened since my last newsletter - a few vacations (they were great!), jury duty (loved it!), I started back at my old job part-time to help cover some maternity leaves (just part-time!), my uncle had a very serious surgery and almost passed, but made a miraculous recovery (and we got some good family time down in Florida while we visited him), I tried to squeeze in all my fun mom time two weeks before school started, and I read. A lot. 

 

Even though I am only working part-time at my old job, it is still taking up a lot of my time. I work Mondays and Thursdays and I have a hard time switching “off” after I get done. I feel like I lose two days a week to do My Sister Made Me Buy It, and am still working a lot of nights and weekends since that is when everyone is online and active. I am struggling with feeling like I am getting enough accomplished vs. taking time off. 

 

I keep getting a lot of questions about why I went back. It is complex. I talked to my old manager only a month after going full-time when I felt like I was floundering. I did not realize how much of my identity was tied up in my career. I also really cared for the people I worked with and wanted to help out. It is only for 14 weeks. But it is also during my busiest season. However, it is also helping me stick to a schedule more? I need to write out more of my feelings on this. As with everything else, I am just figuring it out as I go. 

 

This week is Rebecca's first full week back to school, and I have to admit the last three days of last week were a lot more productive than my entire summer. I dread back to school because it is another reminder of how fast Rebecca is growing up, but I think we all look forward to the structure and routine again. 

 

I am also excited because WE ARE LEASING AN OFFICE! I get to move in on Friday. Once I left my full-time job, James also switched to 100% remote position at work and he is on meetings.all.day. Sometimes I just want to work in silence and not have to have earphones in. I also think it will be a good thing for me. I am more productive when I get ready and am working outside of home. We will also get the opportunity to rent other meeting rooms and event spaces, which means space for IRL local events! 

 

Well, I have rambled on long enough. I hope you have a great week! 

 - Sarah