Dear First name / friend
There's an expression I heard recently: creeping nihilism. I think if I were in an Indie band, it would be a great title for the first album.
I think something we all struggle with at some point or other in our lives is a sense of futility. If we stop to think about it, what's really the point of it all?
I remember feeling bleakly depressed when, as a 16 year-old battling with these existential ideas in the chrysalis of teenagehood, I thought it would be a good idea to read Simone de Beauvoir. She explores the idea of existentialism through her writing…suffice to say it didn't make for soothing reading material. At the time, the concept was too raw; too unnerving; the sort of thought it's difficult to look at head on for a while.
One quote I come back to time and time again is that of Gandhi:
“Everything you do in this life will be insignificant, but you must do it anyway”. It's a quote whose meaning and interpretation for me has changed since I heard it perhaps ten or so years ago. For a long time, I couldn't quite get round why he would bother saying that at all. On the face of it it sounds rather bleak and hopeless: there are lots of people doing not insignificant things in this world; surely what I'm doing is not insignificant? But I understand that really he's talking to the importance of action, meaning and the rightful place of the individual in the great vastness of the universe.
Creeping nihilism is a growing sense of futility about our situation, particularly used in the context of our climate crisis. It's a sense of “what's the point”?
But meaningful change is systemic, not individual.
I want to separate out the difference between Gandhi's quote and the idea of apathy and nihilism. Gandhi goes on to say that we may never see the fruits of our actions and that's okay because we did it “out of love or not at all” and, ultimately, what is the alternative? In the words of Ocean Vuong: “On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous”. Yes, in one thousand years, no-one will know about Marie Curie's radiotherapy treatment for cancer or Steve Jobs' Apple OS, but does that mean it wasn't worth doing? I'm pretty certain that recycling is almost pointless, but if I didn't separate out my rubbish then what am I saying about the way I respect this planet and the extent to which I respect my own values?
Mindful moment: Sometimes we are all faced with the futility of life. This can become more apparent if you have lost someone, because the reminder of our mortality makes the existential thoughts more present. But it can also be a reminder of the preciousness of our one human life - however long or short; however fair or unfair it may seem; whatever hand you were seemingly dealt. It's like my sister says about clothes, that you have to wear something so it might as well be nice! I'll let Gandhi close this one:
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest. You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.”
