I follow an actor on Instagram who I think is the coolest.
She’s not famous or anything. Far from it. In fact, I was in a musical with her once upon a time.
She’s just as cool in person and she is online. Calm, chill, collected, trendy, kind — perhaps a bit reserved, but not in an insecure way. In the kind of way that’s like, “We can chat or not, and either way it would be fine.”
I haven’t seen her IRL in a long time, so the only way I know she’s still alive is via the photo dumps she posts on Instagram. Each dump is perfectly curated to be simultaneously posed *and* candid, and every caption is as short and quippy as she can make it, featuring all lowercase letters.
The modern day ~mysterious gal~.
This weekend, she popped up on my IG feed with another one of her classic dumps, and I couldn’t help but think to myself how badly I would have wanted to be her just a few years ago.
And how, knowing me, I would have forced myself to give ~that kind of online presence~ a try, just because it seems so goddamn cool.
Here in 2023, I know that experiment would have failed. It would have been like fitting a square block into a circle opening—because everything good that has ever happened to me? It happened because I am literally incapable of being mysterious online, even if I tried.
(Of course in business, but even in my personal life—I met my boyfriend of 7 years on Tinder after I messaged him first.)
Now, don't get me wrong here:
I know that girl IRL, and that's exactly how she is in-person. I would qualify that as an authentic online presence.
But each year, I work with so many creatives and entrepreneurs who are like “is it weird to put this on my about page?” or like “how much of ME is really appropriate to feature on my website?”.
^^ Meanwhile, their IRL (or… Zoom) energy is infectious, they're bouncing off the walls, they're funny, they're outgoing, they're sassy, they're boisterous, etc.
And I’m like— YES! DUH!
“Authenticity” feels like a brand buzzword that no one really knows how to define. And there are many different interpretations of what it means, which muddies the waters a bit.
So, instead of using that word, I'll ask it this way: are you trying to fit your square box into a circular opening because someone else does it that way?
