What do you say to a friend who tells you they were diagnosed with Cancer?  The words just sometimes leave your mouth and you want to take it back.   They want to pretend it didn’t happen.  They are insulted and angry.  You feel cold and inconsiderate.  But truthfully, how would you know?  How would they know how it would make them feel?  We spoke to ten people in our Cancer Family to put a list together of what NOT to say and what is helpful or thoughtful to say!

 

 

“It will be ok.” So patronizing!

 

“I feel so bad for you” Nobody wants pity (in my opinion)

 

“Were you a smoker?” As if I don’t already feel bad enough…

 

Tell me how I can help you. (Note: Many times people don't know how others can help them!) (My Cancer Family will be fixing this…stay tuned!) 

 

Do you say something?  Do you ignore it?  Do you try to compliment them?  Do you not? What do you do when their hair is growing back?  Here's some memories from a 20+ year survivor.

 

“I’m here for you, anytime for anything”

 

“You’re strong, you will get through this”

 

Sending a card is a nice gesture