They refer to themselves as influencers,coaches, and even subject matter experts.
But the truth is that these people have no idea what you’re capable of, what you’re passionate about, or even what you’re destined for.
I’m not talking about parents, teachers, preachers, trainers, or other authority figures. Those are people you should listen to because they can have a significant impact on your life. But what about the talking heads out there on the internet?
These same people are the ones who have never accomplished what you’re aiming to achieve, yet they still act like they know better than you. I’ve met people like this over the years. While there are some intelligent people out there with good intentions, they are outnumbered by the ones who are afraid to take risks, face difficult challenges, and the ones who are terrified of making mistakes. It’s these same people who are most likely holding you back from pursuing your dreams and goals.
So, I’ll ask you again: Are you listening to them?
If the answer is yes, then let me give you my two cents for free. Stop. Stop it now. Don’t listen, and definitely don’t let them influence your decisions, your actions, or your emotions. When you do listen, you’re giving away the power to control your own destiny. Listen, if you are still unsure what your future holds or what your purpose is, do you think someone who doesn’t know you and knows nothing about your situation is going to help?
This is a huge phenomenon in social psychology. These studies go deep into why people choose to conform even when it’s not in their best interest. Honestly, aside from accepted social norms, conformity should have no place in your future.
Yes, you need to follow traffic laws, you need to be on time for your training sessions, and you need to perform at your job the best you can. But that isn’t conformity. That is just fitting into a society that has rules and expectations. What I’m talking about is adopting a mindset that is a little rebellious, but in a healthy way.
Without that, you could end up living out a story that someone else wrote. So, I’ll say it again: Stop listening to them. Listen to yourself.
Why? Because they don’t matter as much as you do. Each one of us has a unique gift to offer the world, but the problem is that the majority of us never learn what that is. We all have a purpose to fulfill in our own way, and in doing so, we alone have the vision to create our own reality. Let me explain.
Maybe you always wanted to get a job in a certain industry or with a certain company. What’s stopping you? No experience? Not enough training? Don’t have the money or time to go back to school and start over? All of those obstacles have clear and obvious solutions and not one of them are easy. In fact, if your goal is to start over or something else that is really aggressive or difficult, of course it’s going to be hard. Embrace it! Don’t run from it.
We often know where we want to go in life but are terrified of the hard work and potential rejection, judgment, or failure it involves. It’s that fear that usually destroys our personal visions of the future and puts us in a situation where we look for anyone to listen to and tell us what to do with our money, what jobs we should aspire to, and they all make it sound so easy.
I care. Which is why I never sugar coat anything and give it to you straight. I want each of you to achieve whatever it is that you set out to do, but change is difficult, and I understand that. I didn’t get to the top without having to navigate some problems and difficulties, and those lessons are what I share with you so that you’ll know you’re not the only one who faces them. In fact, let’s talk about change for a minute.
Ask yourself this: When you were young and filled with dreams, what did you want to do for a living? Are you doing it now? If not, why not?
What happened along the way?
If your answers start with, “There was an issue”, “I was denied”, “I wanted to, but”, then you probably listened to them. I don’t know everyone’s story and what circumstances they’ve been through, but I know the feeling. That’s why I listened to people who had achieved things that I also wanted to achieve, and listened to people who were doing things I wanted to do. It’s the same reason I try to help people – to share my experiences.
I’ve been in the combat sports game for a long time, so I know about challenges and obstacles firsthand. I’ve had to deal with injuries, losses, critics, haters, doubters, and people who told me that maybe I’m not cut out for the sport that I’m so passionate about.
That’s why I’m talking about this today. To remind you that it’s okay to say, f*ck them.
People try to give advice based on their own limited perception. They don’t know my life and I don’t know theirs, so why in the world would I listen to their advice on how I should or shouldn’t live? They haven’t achieved what I’m looking to do, so what value do they actually bring?
Think about how many times you’ve seen articles that claim something like, “the top 5 things billionaires do before they go to bed”. Now, how many billionaires do you think are sitting up late at night writing blogs like that out of the goodness of their heart? If your heart is set on achieving that level of wealth, then you need to listen to someone who actually has it already.
I can remember so many times in my life where people advised me to not make certain moves. They told me it was either too risky, too hard, too unrealistic, or too crazy. But for those of you who know me, my stubbornness didn’t allow me to hear it. Instead, I followed my gut, my intuition, and my vision for myself. You know what happened?
I’ve made more money and impacted more lives than I ever thought possible…because I didn’t listen. Those people telling me what to do had not accomplished what I was looking to do, so why the f*ck should I ever listen to them?
I don’t live a perfect life. No one does. I’m the first to admit that sometimes, I’m wrong. Sometimes I fail at things, and sometimes I do feel regret.
But I’m okay with that. That’s part of the journey. It’s how we learn and grow. The way I see it, I’d rather be given the chance to be wrong. I’ll learn better that way. Besides, failure is one of life’s greatest teachers. That is why I do not let fear or doubt hold me back from pursuing my dreams and goals.
Even if what I’m trying is wrong, imperfect action is better than inaction. That goes hand in hand with the clinical definition self-confidence. According to psychology experts, self-confidence is our self-assurance in trusting our abilities, capacities and judgments and having a belief that we can meet the demands of a given task.
Now, where in that definition does it say listen to someone tell you what to do?
It’s like Anderson Silva once said, “You have to be willing to fail to improve”. The statement is perfect in its simplicity and goes to show you that even imperfect actions can lead to amazing things if you are willing to learn.
So, with that, I turn to you and ask, what are you waiting for?
