Do you ever feel stuck as a parent? Maybe your child's behavior has you feeling like a failure? You've tried everything you can think of and you just can't seem to make any progress. Maybe your kid is screaming at the top of their lungs every time they don't get their way, maybe they seem to have a complete lack of empathy, maybe they're arguing with literally everything, they won't stop tattling, or they come out of their room 400 times every night after you put them to bed. 

 

This happens to me kind of frequently, actually. And I've developed a rubric to get through them. I want to share that rubric with you. I only VERY recently learned what GPS stands for (let me save you the googling in case you didn't know til 2 seconds from now.. it stands for Global Positioning System, and it can tell you where you are and how to get somewhere else. Now, there's no real road map for parenting, but I think sometimes we get so frustrated it's hard for us to really consider where we actually are, and where are kids are, and that makes it super hard to find the way forward. So, I'm offering you my Parental Positioning System in this newsletter. It's just a tool that helps you consider where your kids is developmentally, whether or not your expectations are realistic, how you might unknowingly be contributing to the problem, and if there's anything you need to repent of. It helps you celebrate instead of just condemn, get curious and offer compassion to your kids, and encourages you to think about the whole situation in the context of God's word, covering it with prayer. 

 

Let me know if you use this resource, I'd love to hear from you about how it felt to do this exercise and how it impacts your own heart and the situation.  But always remember, the goal of parenting is not behavior modification, its pursuing the hearts of our children with the good news of the gospel, compelled by the love we have for them, and fueled by the grace and mercy we have received. Don't grow weary, friends.

 

with humble gratitude,

 

I am SO excited for this event, and honestly can't believe the bundle of books we'll be giving away to an attendee. Kristen is a dear friend of mine laboring in the trenches of mothering young children right alongside me. We're going to talk about sharing biblical truth and the good news of the gospel with little ones, and we'd love for you to join us!

This is a phrase I got from Paul David Tripp, who used it to express that we often call things needs that are actually just desires. If one of my kids says “I need a new bike!” I might reply, “Need is a sloppy word. You need food and drink to live. You want a new bike. It's okay to want things, but let's not confuse wants and needs. You won't die if you don't get a new bike, so let's try expressing that with humility. ”I would like to have a new bike." or “May I please have a new bike?” would be phrases that follow. This is not a phrase I say with any amount of harshness, but one that I use to gently remind my boys that there is a difference between need and desire. Putting things in the proper category can protect us from entitlement and disproportionate reactions when we don't get what we want.

 

 

Lately, we're in a great rhythm of grilling on Sunday nights. The boys play outside and David grills burgers or steaks for that evening, and chicken for the entire week to come. This has been such a blessing of a routine. There's no mess in the kitchen on the sabbath, and we have protein for wraps and salads for the entire week!

 

What do I put on the chicken?

Lime Juice

Honey

Veg Oil

Coconut Aminos

Garlic

This question made my stomach drop. High school was a hard time for me. I was an acheiver—student body president, a varsity athlete, part of a county wide acting troupe that competed in musical competitions. I loved Jesus, but I wasn't resting in him. I was also just young. I"m learning to look at that girl with compassion and understanding. But I often see her show up in the same ways today. We're always a work in progress. There's always more to learn. 

 

I jokingly want to reply, just ask them to clean up! My kids always magically start playing so well together when I say it's time to clean up. But truly, I think the best approach for me has been observing their play in a really focused way so they aren't dependent on me, but are gaining confidence playing alone from what I am saying: non-evaluative statements like “Oh! You chose the blue one!” or “Your building a tall tower!” or asking questions like “Will you tell me about what you're building here?” Then I will say “I'm going to go and check on something in the kitchen and will come right back to check on you.” over time, I'll disappear for longer and longer, encouraging them and affirming how well they're playing and how much I enjoy seeing what they come up with when they're playing on their own. That's how we have instituted quiet time.

 

A. It'd be a tie between being out on the boat as a family and scootering with the boys to our corner general store for a popsicle in the afternoons. I'm trying to keep doing those things as far into fall as we can!

 

“…though you're not the headliner of God's story and though you might exist in utter obscurity, if you have faith in Jesus, you are not overlooked. Your name has been called. You're noticed. You're chosen. Your name is written in the book of life. Your story matters to the one God is telling, even if it's lived in the back row. To him, you're unfogettable.”

-Emily Jensen

 

I'll save my best work and thoughts for this list, but I'll still be posting on the gram. If we're not connected there, I'd love for you to come follow along! Just click one of these “lately” photos below!