Hi friends,

 

A few weeks ago, I went through a bit of a hard time. I was in the midst of an 11-day stretch of solo parenting because Inge was traveling for work. The hot days in the city were taking their toll on me and I was struggling to find fun activities to keep both me and Raffi entertained (and cool) everyday. Luckily, we live in NYC and there’s quite a lot to do. However, if you’ve ever spent time with a 4 year old, you know that planning simple outings, like a museum for example, are never quite that simple. In fact, there tends to be a lot of negotiating, power struggles, schlepping of more items than necessary, and maybe even some tears. 

 

Just a couple of days into our solo time together, I was feeling defeated. To self-soothe, I did all the things I thought would make me feel better in the moment. I stayed up late watching And Just Like That. I skipped my morning meditations because I preferred sleeping in. I didn’t make my bed a few days in a row because it felt too laborious. I ate most of my meals hurriedly and thoughtlessly. 

 

Anytime I became aware of my actions, I would justify it to myself and have inner dialogue that sounded like this, “anything goes this week because I feel like I’m in survival mode. Once Inge is back and our family life feels more balanced, then I’ll get back to taking care of myself.” 

 

But then I had a realization on one of those early mornings. It was before 6am and I’d gone to bed after midnight because I’d been caught in a scrolling loop on my phone. I could barely keep my eyes open and yet, I had to get it together in order to make breakfast and get Raffi ready for the day. And it dawned on me. 
 

 

This sounds very obvious to me now, but in the moments where I was feeling exhausted, it felt much easier to give in to what I wanted right then. But of course, that was only perpetuating a negative cycle. 

 

 

I didn’t change all of my behaviors immediately, but being aware of what I was doing was the first step in recognizing what needed to change. Despite feeling like I needed to do the bare minimum to get through the days, I had more choices than I realized. 

 

So if you’re anything like me, here’s my tip to you: stop negotiating with yourself. The next time you feel like you can justify doing something you know isn’t the best for you, ask yourself if it’s worth it. Bad habits tend to compound, but the good news is, so do good ones.

 

Thanks for being here and I wish you a fun, safe, and happy weekend. 

 

✨✨✨✨✨

 

Much love,

Lisa