Hey Friend,
I've got some honest questions for you.
If you had to rate your current level of happiness on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate yourself, and why?
Then, if you had to define what happiness means to you, what would you write down? And I'm not talking about our friend, Merriam-Webster - I mean a really specific description that's unique to you.
Next, if you had to come up with a plan to get yourself to a 9 or 10 (let's assume you aren't at a 10), what would it entail?
. . .
Lately, I've been fascinated by the topic of happiness. As much as it seems like a cliché thing to discuss, I've learned that it's quite the opposite.
During my growth journey, I've had chapters of my life where I've felt unhappy, and others where I've felt elated. Sometimes I've fallen somewhere in between.
Since then, I've taken inventory of the circumstances that helped me arrive at more joyful states. I wanted to share what I've discovered with you because I believe that every human deserves to live a happy and abundant life.
In fact, four years ago I didn't believe that was true for me, and it's one reason why I decided to become a life coach.
. . .
First - here are three truths I've learned about happiness:
1 - Happiness is not static.
So often, we tell ourselves the story that if we're not happy all the time, that means we're unhappy or something is wrong with us. But I've learned that happiness is not a consistent state. As humans, we're always oscillating in an imperfect and beautiful way.
In her book, WomanCode, author Alisa Vitti, writes: “it's against your very nature to be static; everything in your life, in your body, and in the world around you functions in a cyclical manner. With [a] static view, when you expect your body to feel fabulous day in and day out, you continuously feel betrayed when it falls short.”
Whether you're reflecting on your health, work, or relationships, honoring a dynamic approach allows you to take on a more embodied state of happiness over time.
2 - Happiness begins after we get really honest with ourselves.
I didn't start living my happiest life until after I got brutally honest with myself about how I was showing up in my own life.
With the support of an amazing coach, Caitlin, I took full responsibility for my future and started making the changes I needed to make in order to live my best life.
I looked at everything - the limiting beliefs I had about myself, unhealthy friendships, the role I had in my family's dysfunction, my people-pleasing tendencies (and utter lack of boundaries), my ego, my toxic job, and how I was showing up in intimate relationships.
To be clear, four years ago I had a lot going for me (and much to be grateful for), but there were many things getting in the way of me living my best life. And I was choosing all of them. I had to identify those blocks and then work through them to make real progress.
Getting honest with yourself and taking full responsibility for creating the life want to lead is the first step toward your liberation and happiness.
3 - Happiness is not about money, stuff, or your phone.
Earlier this summer, 63 people completed The Thirlby Co. FUN Challenge, where we invited play and joy into our lives for one week.
On the first day of the challenge, I asked everyone to take a “fun inventory.” We reflected on the year to date and wrote down a list of our happiest moments so far.
The next day, nearly everyone reported back that their brightest memories did not involve money or things. They were every day, simple moments with people they loved. I shared my own reflection with the group:
