Dear First name / Friend

 

I turned 40 in August, and I now understand why so many traditions honor thresholds and speak of initiations into life's phases. Like shedding a snake skin, I feel myself releasing doubt and uncertainty and living into a deep trust and interconnection with all. The brilliant sun reliably rises too consistently to doubt the infinite intelligence of the cosmos. In 20 years of mental health practice, I have seen too much suffering to doubt the resilience of the human spirit. And I have traversed & tenderly held too much internal pain and criticism, rupturing my presence to this precious life, to doubt my inherent worthiness. With all that is heavy in the world, it seems odd to celebrate, but that's what I'm doing.

 

I threw a dance party combining a vow renewal and 40th birthday. Jared and I re-committed to our relationship after years of therapy. Stretching, learning, and building healthy communication (turns out it includes lots of listening!) Our joyful celebration was not veiled by an illusion we won't negotiate rocky cliffs again. Yet I am choosing to relish sunlit wildflower meadows along the way. To celebrate with community those moments when you have broken through the foggy mist and can suddenly see the vastness of life's beauty. I find my joy deepens by these experiences of being lost and finding my way again. 

 

I know these soft radiant meadows will feel far away at times, yet they will burn inside of me and light my way. My heart centered mindfulness practice is building a background of joy and worthiness in my life. This joy is sourced from a kinship connection with sun, moon, and stars, rather than from life's circumstances outside my control. Joy does not mean happiness. It is not the absence of discomfort. Joy holds the awe that we are alive, interwoven, and impermanent. It carries the truth that this is all magical, precious, and fleeting. From this knowing gratitude and love flow freely.

 

I believe cultivating this truth is the path to changing the world. As you feed the embers of your light, together we will make an exquisite constellation across the expansive human landscape. 

 

(P.S At the risk of sounding too existential…I want to note that following this threshold I will still need to cook dinner, pay the mortgage, and drive carpool:) 

 

 

~ What in your life feels like a sunlit wildflower meadows (big or small)?

If nothing comes to mind, stay steady, 

you know they are ahead because you have seen them before.

 

~ What recent thresholds have you crossed, learned, and emerged from? 

Not unscathed, but earning your wisdom.

 

"May I realize I am in a reciprocal dance with life, 

stumbling, yet finding my feet again and again. I am living into myself."

 

I owe my joy to my Head & Heart mindfulness practice - and I would love to share with you in my 30 minute online monthly class, sign up here.

 

With Compassion,

Ellen