It’s a simple question, but not simple to answer. We have several social circles. We have them at work, at the gym, at home, and anywhere else we spend a significant amount of time.

 

People are social creatures by nature. Being an introvert is fine, but even introverts still have social networks. We need to interact with other people to share our thoughts and feelings, to learn from each other, to support each other, and even have some fun.

 

But let’s be real, not all people are good for us.

 

While some people lift us up, there are others who are more than willing to drag us down. There are people who inspire you and people who stop at nothing to discourage you. There are also people who can help us grow, and others that can hold us back.

 

So, who’s in your circle? My hope is that your mind is racing right now to put together a list. 

The truth is that we are never truly alone in this world. We are constantly interacting with other people, whether they are our family, friends, colleagues, or even strangers. These people have an impact on us whether we realize it or not. They can influence our thoughts, feelings, actions, and outcomes, and they can even shape our personality, character, and identity.

 

 

That is what I want you to focus on: your inner-most circle. This is the group that has the most influence on you, and it’s also the group you spend the most time with. We have larger social circles that include our coworkers, our boss, acquaintances, and even our neighbors, but I’m asking you to focus on those closest to you: family, close friends, your partner, or even a substance or a vice.

 

Yes, I said a relationship with a substance. I’m willing to bet that most of us know someone who has a closer relationship with drugs or alcohol than they do with their spouse or their kids. Maybe you’re even related to that person. The truth is that people can form relationships with a vice, and you can tell when it happens. These vices influence how we act, think, and behave. Ever know someone who got wrapped up in drugs and became a completely different person (and not in a good way)? Me too.

 

Who we surround ourselves with will play a huge factor in who we become. If you saw my recent social media post, you’ll know what I mean. If you hang out with drug addicts, the odds increase that you will become one too. Ever know someone that fell into that trap? Me too. The opposite is true as well. If you hang out with fit people, it’s more likely that you will become fit too. It’s our desire for acceptance – so don’t fight it when it’s positive!

But it’s not about who makes their way into your circle, it’s about who you let in. You have to take responsibility and accountability for who (or what) is in your inner circle, because that is largely under our control. I understand that most of us at least one time in our life had a shitty boss, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Someone like that would never be in your inner circle anyway.

 

So now that I’ve clarified the inner circle concept, I want you to ask yourself the following questions:

 

 

When you answer these questions, you need to be brutally honest with yourself and don’t be afraid to make adjustments if necessary. I know how hard it is to say goodbye to something that was so familiar for so long. Do you know anyone who is dating someone toxic and still won’t let them go regardless of how terrible their relationship is? Walking away from familiarity is hard because it’s predictable and our brains love routines.

Sometimes you have to cut off some people in order to connect with new ones. Sometimes you have to distance yourself from some people in order to get closer to yourself. And this one may be hard to conceptualize, but sometimes you have to be selfish in order to be selfless.

 

Why do you think I preach about the benefits of establishing a bullet-proof routine to ensure you are the best version of yourself so you can take care of others?

 

In the world of psychology, this is what’s known as the Social Influence Theory. It is a topic that has been widely studied and reinforces my point even further. Did you know that when you experience negative interactions within your social circle, it actually has negative physical effects on the body? Studies have shown that a negative social circle has a direct effect on your physical and mental health. So, my question is, why keep something like that close to you?

 

But like I said in a recent post, the inverse is also true. Yes, your inner circle can drag you down and keep you there, but when selected carefully, your inner circle can improve your physical health, mental outlook, and even your level of success. 

Remember, your circle is your choice. It reflects who you are and who you want to be. It affects your happiness, your health, your success, and your fulfillment.

 

So, choose wisely when it comes to who’s in your circle. Choose people who share your vision, your values, your goals, and your passions. Choose people who support you, encourage you, compliment you, and celebrate you. Choose people who challenge you, teach you, coach you, and mentor you. And finally, choose people who make you laugh, smile, relax, and enjoy life.

 

Bottom line, choose people who make you a better person.

I want all of you to be a part of my circle just like I hope you invite me into yours.  

 

I want to leave you with two final questions: