Dear readers,
It has been far too long since I’ve last written - alas, the months have swept by and now in the energetic frenzy and haze that comes with starting a new business, I look up - and it’s September! There is so much to share - and so much excitement - as if the state of everblooming has morphed into a wave that has yet to crash - edging on the thrilling peak of pure speed and surrender.
This week in New York, we have collectively have felt the onset of autumn: crisper air, darker mornings, and a pleasant coolness that feels reminiscent of the Bay Area - markers of a transitioning season, an evolved becoming, and yet - a recognition and celebration of stillness, the present in its purest form, as though the leaves are suspended in silence before the colors change.
For me, it is a happy time indeed - a recent engagement with my life partner (aka the love of my life!), and the expansive embodiment of solo entrepreneurship, my life’s work. Lately I have been acutely aware of this state of velocity - this rare sensation of moving in the right direction, at the right time, at an increasing pace over a substantial distance. Five months into Fleurovyant, I feel the steadying of course that comes with time and trust, belief and perseverance. I hold the compass of my life with open palms, following my north star as I charge ahead, charting the map along the way. It is a process of fumbling and learning, revising and improvising, and ultimately, surrender. In other words, a dance.
Lately, I have felt this cathartic notion that, “All is well” - in health, happiness, and in work and love. Today I write within this nexus of gratitude, hope, humility and motivation - in other words, a cherishing for this specific moment in time.
It was not long ago when I would spend the evenings exasperated about my job, and wake up in angst about my calendar jammed with meetings. I felt a lackluster of energy and spark, restlessness and confusion. Eyes dulled, focus gone, engagement dwindling.
In contrast: these days, I go to sleep excited to wake up and begin again. There is so much to do and yet I feel energized by the prospect of working with clients, crafting floral creations, experimenting with new forms, expanding the team, and painting my walls with lime wash green into an archway that feels like my personal portal into Narnia. Imagination flows and fills up my well. I feel as though I have trenched through the soil and have come across an untapped river that flows deep within the Earth. Alas, it seems I have found the inner-spring of my spirit.
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“We see that our moods, views, and insights are transitory. We acquire a sense of movement, a current of change in our lives. This current, or river, is a flow of grace moving us to outright livelihood, companions, destiny.”
- Julia Cameron, The Artists Way
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This is not a time to rest on my laurels (they are very much only buds, still!), but it is a time for cherishing - the word itself sounding like a tender kiss on the cheek. To cherish is to, “​​​​protect and care for (someone) lovingly; to hold (something) dear; to keep (a hope or ambition) in one's mind.”
To cherish means to find yourself on the other side of discomfort and into deliciousness. To celebrate what it means to do hard things. To explore the altered trajectory of important decisions, and to relish in the specific proclivity of where we are in our life's journey right now.
I still experience stress - plenty of it, no doubt - days of overwhelm, anxiety, and exhaustion. Moments of uncomfortable excitement, of wondering what the “easier” life might have been like (acutely felt when I run past the beautiful new Google building in Hudson Square opening soon). And it would be amiss to discount all of the emotional turmoil and struggle that continues to dwell and erupt unpredictably. But cherishing, like most everything else, must be viewed in context with, and in relation to, the times of shadow, those hollow days of darkness (or in my case, the “blah” days - sometimes ambivalence feels worse than anger).
To cherish is not to suffocate the good times, but to nurture them - to stoke. Rather than clenching, it is a trusting and softening - a moment of pause and recognition for what is. These moments of cherishing can birth creativity and inspiration, hope and nostalgia - along with the subtle sense that this feeling might slip away someday - because it will. And that’s precisely why we cherish: to savor - the first licks of an ice cream cone, the fresh flowers gifted by a friend, the mornings spent cuddling, and the changing seasons of summer to fall.
Indeed, cherishing intersects time - it is the dance between states of past, present, and future - so much to look forward to, so much to be grateful for, and so much to enjoy today. Is there anything sweeter than such?
Perhaps, a kiss on the cheek.
xx,
Emily
