We have a lot of choices to make in life. In fact, just about every single thing in your life is influenced by a choice you made either on the spot, years ago, or as a kid.
But there are two things in life that none of us get to choose. The first is where you’re born. The second is who your parents are. Think about it, you open your eyes, and there you are. You never got a say in any of it.
Consider babies that are born in war-torn, third-world countries where the life expectancy is only a few decades, you think anyone would choose that? What about the kids here in America that are born into poverty, violent homes, hopeless surroundings, or parents with a drug addiction? That is how I started, and I’m pretty sure that some of you did too. But I didn’t choose it, did you?
So how do some of us break away, while some stay trapped in that situation? And let me clarify the word “trapped”. You might feel as though you are caged by your surroundings, but the door is (and always has been) unlocked. You can leave at any time, you just have to have the guts to do it and be able to withstand the pains of personal growth.
Which brings me to my main point today, and it goes back to one of my recent posts – your starting point isn’t your final point.
It can be if you let it, but if you’re reading this, then I know you’re someone who isn’t afraid to grow.
-your starting point isn’t your final point-
Just because I grew up in a roach and mice infested basement apartment in a neighborhood where you could get your ass kicked or lose your life on any given day, there was no way in hell that I was going to end up there. I had no one back then that I could turn to for help, and I mean no one.
But despite my circumstances, I refused to submit to the standards I was born into. I refused to let my current status define my future and I refused to give up on my dreams and goals.
The problem is that this isn’t the case for most people. Unfortunately, as people get older, they basically give up and settle into whatever identity is expected of them. The world tells them to get real and know your place and stay there…and they listen. Don’t listen!
That is exactly why I say get unreal!
Get unreal in the sense of breaking your old norms, challenging that status quo, and defying expectations. Get unreal in the sense of living your best life and being your best self regardless of where you started or where you are now.
Living your best life also depends on our own determination of self-worth. Like I said, our self-worth shapes how we interact with the world and how the world interacts with us.
-how to become ‘unreal’-
If you have a low self-worth, we tend to attract negative situations and people into our lives. We also tend to settle for less than we deserve and accept less than we are capable of achieving. By doing this, we also limit ourselves and our potential.
But if we have a high self-worth, we tend to attract positivity and good people into our lives. We also aim for more than we think is possible and can accomplish more than we ever imagined. That is how we exceed our potential.
I’ve said a lot, but some of you may be asking how is this all possible? You can’t just snap your fingers and have a new life. So how do we increase our self-worth? How do we change our starting point, and how do we become unreal?
Here is how:
Gratitude: Don’t underestimate this emotion. It can transform your life. It helps you appreciate what you have, see the opportunities around you, and makes you feel good rather than being miserable all the time.
Optimism: This is an essential attitude, and it can improve your life. It helps you expect the best rather than fearing the worst. It also helps cope with challenges, find solutions, and not complain about problems and give up.
Proactivity: This is one of the most important habits of all time because it enhances your entire life. It’s why I’m constantly talking about it. This means taking action instead of waiting for things to happen. Proactivity helps you create opportunities and achieve results rather than depending on luck or making excuses.
Confidence: This is a trait that can help boost you up when you need it most. Confidence is what it takes to believe in yourself. We gain confidence by keeping our word to ourselves. If you tell yourself you are going to go to the gym, or read a book, or whatever, when you keep your word to yourself, you begin to trust yourself – and that is where confidence begins. It’s why the words trust and confidence are synonyms. We feel bad when we let others down, so don’t take a step back when it comes to yourself.
Resilience: I promise this is the most critical skill of all. Resilience gives you the strength to achieve what you want in life. Resilience is what helps us bounce back rather than break down. In a lot of ways, resilience is a byproduct of confidence. Why? Because as we keep our self-commitments, we learn that we can rely on ourselves to show up when it matters. Confidence feeds resilience and resilience is what keeps us going when it gets tough.
-make the choices-
These are just a few things that I know can help reshape your current situation and completely change the trajectory of your life. I don’t know how hard it was for all of you, and I don’t know how shitty your starting point in life was, but I stood there just like you, on the brink of hell.
Reality told me that I would end up as a product of my environment, so I said f*ck that and became unreal. The great thing is that I’m still on my journey and so are all of you. The final point is still to be determined, but I know what I want my final point to look like and I know how hard I have to work to make it happen.
Do you notice a theme?
I am the one doing the visualizing. I am the one doing the planning, and I’m the one putting in the work for my future. These are choices I am making and I’m not putting this on anyone or anything else.
But don’t confuse what I’m saying with obligations. We all have them. I’ve had people open up to me and tell me that they can’t achieve what they want because they put their “life on hold” to meet whatever obligations they had.
But even obligations are choices. We choose to be loyal to family and friends, significant others, and even our jobs (some of us anyway). But again, these are choices we make that come with responsibilities. It may not seem like taking care of family is a choice, but it is – trust me. I’m sure some of you know what it’s like to have a parent or someone that you could never rely on. At one point you may have even been considered an obligation, and no one showed up. I was there too.
The key to all of this is to never lose that childlike hope. The kid who daydreamed about being something amazing. That kid who wanted to learn and try new things and stick their nose into everything just out of sheer curiosity. If you lost all of that along the way, ask yourself why.
You have the power to make the choices to change your life for the better.
