As a newly single gal in her early thirties, I've been on a lot of first dates recently and not a lot of seconds. And like many of you, I'm sure, I can tell within the first 2 minutes whether or not I'll want to spend any amount of time with these men. But since I can't just bail from the get-go, I give it 1 drink, thank them for buying and offer the same, “see you around,” gesture as I leave without the slightest second thought. I don't hang around for longer than I want to; I don't feel guilty for leaving and I try not to think of it as wasted time.
With the help of my best friend, I have perfected the anti-ghost text, which seems to be well-received and when I notice a misalignment in values or lifestyle with someone I've seen a few times, I share that with them and move on. From my last relationship and really getting to know myself these past 6 months, I know very clearly what I'm looking for and what I will not compromise on.
So, how does this relate to food and eating? If you continue to eat certain foods in qualities and quantities that keep you feeling heavy, full, tired and sick, you are self-perpetuating a toxic relationship. Let's bring it back to dating and romance: You're essentially saying to yourself, I know this person is keeping me small but I'm going to stay with them because it's better than being alone, it's what I've been doing and at least it's familiar. If this is you (with food or in dating) you are straight up just filling the void and you're starving yourself of what could be a source of vibrant nourishment, joy, happiness and wellbeing.
So, don't eat crap that makes you feel blah and don't date men who make you feel blah, either. You deserve whole nutritious life-promoting foods and a genuinely fulfilling relationship that meets you where you are. x
