Hey First name / friend,
An Extract from Chapter 3, Everyday Ways to Improve your Self Love
Self Trust & Self Love
Self Trust and Self Love are very much interlinked. Women are naturally highly intuitive and psychic, and we have the ability to have such a deep connection and relationship of knowing. This has been trained out of us over the centuries, if we truly harnessed this power, our potential would truly be infinite. You may know anecdotes in your own life of when you just ‘knew’ something, or the friend that just had the gut sense that something was happening.
I have this quite intensely as I am the ‘worst’ kind of psychic,
claircognizant – we don’t hear things, we don’t see things, we don’t smell things, we just ‘know’ things! It’s been really difficult to decipher the ‘knowing’ with paranoia – and learning to really trust myself. A good tip for this is, intuition and a ‘download’ comes as a fully formed sentence usually, out of nowhere, it’s not traced back to an anxiety / thought process or worry. Paranoia on the other hand, feels ‘scatty’ and ‘chaotic,’ as if it comes with a rush of anxiety . Learning to decipher the two is key to harnessing your intuition and self trust; but a less psychic way of harnessing this, is simply ‘decision making’ - making decisions and owning them on a daily basis, the big and the small.
I used to ruminate over the most ‘simple’ of decisions, what to eat, what to wear, what to say, the list goes on. I would call in advice for the most simple of things, and when I look back – I never was really craving or needing their expertise on these topics, it was more for someone to grant me permission to do and say the things that I wanted to say anyway. This was sending a message to my subconscious that I wasn't capable of making these decisions and strengthening a broader subconscious belief that I wasn't ‘enough’ - that I needed someone to validate and ‘approve of’ what I wanted to do. A real self love (and self trust practise) is owning your decisions and knowing that they are authentic to you. The more you do this, the stronger your trust muscle will become and you'll feel more at peace with yourself. A task I would ask you to do over the next week is:
- Be conscious of your decision making in every day situations, don’t judge it, just be conscious of where you’re at with decision making
- Stop asking for advice (as much). This may feel counter intuitive but for the next micro decision: eg. What to wear to X event / what to say to Y person – ask yourself just to consult YOURSELF. Learning to check in with YOUR wants and needs and feelings is so powerful and important.
This is such a simple exercise but once you start it, it gets much simper and you’ll notice you’re listening to yourself more, cutting out the outside noise. Once we start harnessing this power on a micro level, we can transfer to a macro level, and we are then living authentically – which is the most magnetic form of self love.
Compliments
This may also seem like a simple one, but again, it’s very effective. One of the easiest ways we can raise our self love is to help rewire our subconscious beliefs. Women are conditioned from a young age to have a sense of humility / self-deprecation as if it's a ‘good’ attribute - it's actually so counteractive to our confidence and growth. I would love your next task to be:
- From now, please accept every compliment. Don’t accept with the caveat “oh it’s sooo old” or deflect “no YOUR dress is lovely”. Just a simple “THANK YOU” or “that’s kind of you” is enough. Once we start accepting compliments unconditionally, we help our subconscious programming. If you’re shunning compliments you will start to believe you aren’t worthy. It may seem harmless when we are being self deprecating, but it is in fact very harmful over time.
- GIVE COMPLIMENTS: everyone is fighting their own battle and I believe one of the easiest ways to open our heart chakra and to help then receive love, is to GIVE it. Try and give someone a compliment daily, with sincerity.
Judge Less
Sometimes what we judge of others is a reflection of our judgment for ourselves. I really love the phrase, “We judge what we deny for ourselves” and once you accept this, it really helps you interpret criticism from others with SUCH a pinch of salt. When we vocalise judgments about others, again, our subconscious is listening and we start to listen to that judgment as a judgment of ourself too! I naturally have quite a dry sense of humour, so this one was a challenge for me – but has been very transformative. We will get into the heart chakra later in the book, but an easy way to close the heart chakra is judging others. I now just say a simple ‘each to their own’ ‘we all have our own truth’ and this subconscious messaging has really helped the relationship with MYSELF.
