I found myself in an all-too-familiar situation recently. I was having lunch with friends, and I caught myself retelling a story; the drama of a disagreement that happened months earlier. As I went over the same details, it suddenly struck me: I'd shared this story one too many times, and it left me feeling uncomfortable with myself.
Have you ever caught yourself sharing a personal story only to realize it's starting to feel counterproductive?
Most of us love captivating stories. We relish all the sorted details, the unexpected twists and turns, and the drama between hero and villain.
Whether we share our experiences with a trusted friend or simply replay them in our minds, it’s common for us to revisit the details of past events and all the emotions that came along with them.
When someone hurts us, it’s common to find comfort by sharing our struggles. It lets us connect emotionally with one another, making us feel supported, understood, and validated. It's a natural human instinct to share our experiences, especially when we've been hurt or wronged.
Our brains are wired to make sense of things that have happened to us.
It's like our minds want to replay the movie so we can rewrite a different or more favorable ending.
It may be cathartic to air out our grievances, but indulging in storytelling sessions too often might cause more harm than good.
We often run the risk of keeping past fears and anxieties present in our lives.
Sometimes it’s best to go general.
This week's energy tip: Embrace the “General” approach.
In my Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) training, I learned a valuable approach to use when clients felt particularly vulnerable about a troubling event. To maintain their sense of safety and calm, we guided them towards a more "general" outlook as they narrated their experiences.
By encouraging clients to narrate their stories using broader strokes rather than focusing on every minute detail, we created a safe space for them to express their thoughts. This method proved to be an effective way to recall events without triggering difficult emotions.
Typically, EFT encourages clients to share details of their experiences because tapping helps relax the nervous system and this allows easier access to get to the root of the problem . However, in some cases, the event might be too emotionally challenging for the client, so a more general approach with tapping is used first.
Engaging in energy release therapy is crucial when reflecting on past events, as it prevents the brain from becoming retraumatized. During highly emotional situations, our minds can struggle to differentiate between past and present experiences, making it feel as if the event is happening all over again and activating stress-related chemicals in the body.
Without practicing energy-releasing strategies, ruminating on past events can trap us in a cycle of negative emotions like anger, sadness, or frustration. This keeps us from seeking constructive ways to address problems and prevent our personal growth.
We are not our stories.
The part of ourselves that feels vulnerable, victimized, and seeks comfort is not our true nature; it’s simply the voice of fear within us that needs to be heard.
Fear is a distorted voice coming from a small and scared part of us that craves safety.
To move forward and release fear, it's essential to learn how to share our stories with less specificity, adopting a more general approach when discussing our past with others. By doing so, we prevent ourselves from being trapped in the past and can focus on embracing a brighter, more empowered future.
As my husband often says, “It’s not the end of the world, just the end of the week.”
