Hello Everyone and welcome to the September 2023 Nap Times! As many of you know, Nate and I just got back from our ten year anniversary trip to Alberta, Canada and Montana! It was unreal and if you have any questions about what we did there's a new post on the blog I will link below. The question I was asked countless times while gone was *how* we were able to go on an eight-day trip while leaving four young kids at home. The questions fell into three general camps:

All of these feel very valid and if you’ve followed me for any length of time you know that I struggle with quite the doomsday mindset when it comes to flying, and this trip was going to require a LOT of (seven…yes, SEVEN) plane rides. This newsletter is going to try and answer these three specific questions. 

 

I do want to preface it by saying that my situation could be very different from yours. Our kids might be different ages, you might not have family around to help, or other logistics could be a lot more or less challenging. I hope you are able to take what is helpful and leave what is not. I also know that for many getting away with your spouse feels nearly impossible, or like too much work to try for right now. If that's you, I pray it's a short season with some form of getaway on the horizon. And that getaway might be one night at a local hotel. Whatever you can swing, I do hope you can fight to make it happen because the work always seems to pay off tenfold in the benefits to our marriage. Life gets so busy and there are so many needs to be met both in our children and household. Getting away removes so many distractions and allows you a chance to be reminded who each other are…to laugh and rest together…to simply enjoy this person you fell in love with years ago.

 

That being said, getting away absolutely takes a lot of work on the front end. You need to find someone to watch your children and essentially train that person to do all of the many, many things you do in a day from the early hours of the morning till after the sun goes down. Lunches and pickups and bedtime routines. It is a LOT. It can feel overwhelming, but I think it is a really good exercise in letting go of control and trusting that your kids can be ok without you.

 

I also want to note before we move on that Nate and I usually get in at least one large fight when we travel alone. I think the removal of all the other distractions makes it easier to talk about a topic you might not agree on, see an insecurity that's been hiding behind busy schedules, or feel uncomfortable in the silence that might linger when the kids aren't screaming. If you feel any of these things or have an argument, I just want you to know you are normal. Marriage is a partnership, and you committed to partner with another imperfect person you don't always agree with. Arguments and annoyances are going to come up and sometimes vacation allows you a little more space to actually talk through something instead of bedtime or a fussy baby making you have to push it aside. OK, marriage pep talk over. Let's get into part one!

 

Here's four things that really helped me:

Here's four things that helped us:

I know for many asking a grandparent is out of the question and can make you feel really stuck when trying to plan a getaway. You aren't sure who to ask, not to mention the thought of paying someone on top of paying for the trip! I asked a few friends as well as my own mom (who left the four of us with a beloved babysitter many a time – once to go to Australia!) for their advice. 

I talked with mom and these are some ideas we came up with for helping the person watching your kids (this was fresh for mom since she just watched mine!):

Alright everyone! I know this doesn't cover everything, but I do hope some of these points were helpful and give you some practical things to think through when planning a trip. Have a lovely October!