More than ever before, with this newsletter, I hope you are ready for some honest talk. Not with me, but with yourself. Truth isn’t something that we just share with others, it also has to be howwe communicate with ourselves during our inner dialogue.
We are all looking for happiness in life. Everyone is. We want to have a positive outlook about where we are in life and where we are headed, and we want to be able to face each day (and the future) with confidence.
But here’s the big question: Are you looking for happiness in the right place or are you still searching for it in the same place you lost it?
Think about it. How many times have you tried to escape your problems by indulging in bad habits? Having drinks after a bad day at work isn’t going to make the next day any better. If you just need to vent and relax with friends, you don’t need alcohol for that.
On that same note, how many times have you sabotaged your own progress by giving in to temptation? I see it all the time. People lose 20 pounds, then they reward themselves with a large pizza or some other calorie bomb. Great job, the calorie deficiency you created so your body can start to lose weight has now been completely f*cked up.
This is the point I’m getting at. To find a level of happiness and confidence that is sustainable, eating like shit, getting drunk, or using drugs will not get you there. Seriously, have you ever seen or heard someone come out and say how great their life is because of how much liquor and fast food they consume?
Do you know someone who consumes lots of alcohol and crap food? How fulfilled are they? Exactly my point.
The truth is that these things cannot solve your issues in life and will not help you grow as a person. Once the numbness of alcohol or drugs wears off and once that garbage in your gut is being digested, what feelings come with that?
Guilt. Frustration. Maybe even a little sadness.
Food guilt is real and has been widely studied in the field of psychology. The facts are published. After your late-night trip to the drive-through, the feelings will be there in the morning waiting for you: higher stress, lower self-esteem, and negative thoughts.
People who use drugs and alcohol also have the same issues. I’m not going to take you down a rabbit hole today, but I’ll show you the door to one. It’s the concept of the negative self-conscious emotion regulation in humans. You can research it if you’d like, but I’ll do the heavy lifting for you. Simply put, drug and alcohol use has a direct effect on how you feel after the high, not just when you’re under the influence. In fact, researchers found that the shame and guilt we feel afterwards ends up increasing future drug and alcohol use, so it becomes a vicious cycle that doesn’t end.
So how do we overcome this challenge?
With abstinence. I’m well aware that people who smoke or use drugs or alcohol struggle with quitting cold turkey. That method of quitting has one of the lowest success rates out there (3-5%). So how can we get to a place where we can abstain from drinking, eating crap, doing drugs, or even just laying around and doing nothing?
Habits: It all starts with repeated behavior.
The right behaviors.
The human body craves routines and habits, regardless of if they are healthy or not. Good clean habits, make for a cleaner life. It’s really that simple.
So here is where we need to be honest with ourselves. What kind of habits do you have? Do your habits make you a better person? Do they support your overall health and happiness?
Don’t lie to yourself or make excuses on this one, it’s too important.
If you have bad habits, admit it. It’s not like you’re the only one.
The key is once you’ve identified them, then change them.
It is a fact that habits can be broken and formed at any stage of life. But the only one who can drive that change is you. It’s not going to come from your spouse, friends, doctors, or family members. They are your support system. The leader of the change can only be you.
But there is a catch.
None of what I just said is easy. It won’t be comfortable at first, and it definitely won’t be convenient. It requires effort, discipline, and a serious commitment to change.
This process includes facing your fears and conquering your weaknesses. That’s not easy for anyone. You will have to do things that you won’t want to do and it’s going to be hard.
Do you hate being the designated driver on a night out with friends? Start by volunteering there. Can’t watch a movie at night without a drink in your hand or snacking on processed crap? Plan a quality meal right before and make yourself full on vegetables and lean proteins.
Trust me, when you change your habits, you change everything. You can finally become the person who stands for something and gives back selflessly.
you can find happiness in the right place: yourself
I hope at this point you’re wondering how you can change your habits or create new ones that support your mission in life. The truth is that there are many ways to do it, but I’ll share what works for me and many others I know. And the best part is its simplicity.
It’s called the bullet-proof morning routine.
This morning structure is a set of routines that you should be doing every morning to start your day. Like I mentioned in a previous post, it consists of three main components: fitness, clean eating, and writing/meditation.
Fitness – At the start the day, physical activity is proven to boost your energy, mood, and metabolism. It can be anything from jogging to weightlifting, or even yoga. The whole point is to move your body and break a sweat.
Eating – To do anything in life, your body needs energy. After physical exercise, your body is screaming for nutrients, so anything from a smoothie to a veggie omelet is a great start. The point of eating clean is to avoid fatigue and improve your mental clarity and focus. Yes, clean food can do all of that (and more).
Writing or Meditation – Just like your body needs to exercise, so does your mind. Contrary to popular belief, your brain is not a muscle, it’s an organ. But you can still “exercise” it with deep thought. As you spend time deep in thought, that is the time to plan and visualize your tasks and interactions that are coming up that day. The more prepared you are for these things, the less stress and anxiety you’ll feel when they actually happen.
I promise you, by taking on these simple tasks every morning, you will create life-changing positive habits.
More importantly, you’ll be the one who finds happiness within himself.
only you can start the new you
If you don’t have a morning structure, create one. Even if people around you don’t understand why, don’t let anyone stop you.
Only you can stop you, and only you can start the new you.
So, start now and don’t look back. It’s all there inside of you, you just have to know how to find it.
