I've been studying the book of Mark this year with the women in my church. The beauty of doing a deep dive into one book of the Bible for an entire year, is that every word you read is sure to be read in context. And a few weeks ago, even though I've read the feeding of the 5,000 a gazillion times (hyperbole, of course), I discovered something I'd never seen before.
Mark 6:30-32 offers context for what's about to happen:
30 The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. 31 Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”
32 So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.
They've just come back from their two-by-two journeys where they weren't supposed to take anything with them and did all of this healing work… just think about how you feel when you get home from a busy trip and multiply it by… well, not having a change of clothes or money the whole time. Jesus sees their weariness. He sees their hunger. And he says, let's go get some rest away from people. K thanks, Jesus. Sounds good.
PSYCH!
Guess what happens next? The people follow them.
33 But many who saw them leaving recognized them and ran on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them. 34 When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.
Does this sound familiar?
Often in motherhood, and recently (super acutely) in my recent volunteer role as our church's interim children's director, I feel like my eyes are fixed on the finish line, and I'm giving all I have to get there, thinking some variation of only 4 more days… 3 more steps…. 30 more minutes… just two more weeks… he'll be home in an hour… a new hire will start in January… I have a sitter scheduled for Friday… and then BAM… the finish line either gets moved WAY back or disappears all together.
The disciples went to this place to get rest, and here they are being asked to feed all of these people… when they're hungry and tired themselves.
35 By this time it was late in the day, so his disciples came to him. “This is a remote place,” they said, “and it’s already very late. 36 Send the people away so that they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.”
37 But he answered, “You give them something to eat.”
Now, I might be reading into this a bit… but when I see their response, I can't help but hear the sarcasm:
They said to him, “That would take more than half a year’s wages! Are we to go and spend that much on bread and give it to them to eat?”
“WITH WHOSE MONEY?!” They're asking. They're hungry, tired, and probably penniless. They're at the end of themselves, he just invited them here for rest, and now he's asking for more.
They're thinking WE HAVE NOTHING LEFT. And he asks:
38 “How many loaves do you have?” he asked. “Go and see.”
When they found out, they said, “Five—and two fish.”
He interrupts their all-or-nothing, this is impossible, thinking and asks them to entrust him with what they've got.
39 Then Jesus directed them to have all the people sit down in groups on the green grass. 40 So they sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties. 41 Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to distribute to the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. 42 They all ate and were satisfied, 43 and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish.44 The number of the men who had eaten was five thousand.
You know, when I see “green grass," I think Psalm 23. Our good shepherd satisfies us in desolate places. And it's often not until we're really at the end of ourselves that we look to him to make a lot out of our very little.
A few weeks ago I was just trying to make it to Friday. I had a sitter scheduled to get some rest that morning and was hanging on by the skin of my teeth. I was running a sprint to finish pace and my legs were giving out right there at the finish line. And then on Thursday, close to midnight, one of my kids started throwing up. And I was SO GRATEFUL TO GOD for the provision of this passage that I had been studying all week. Rather than all-or-nothing, impossible thinking, he moved my mind to pray, “You can do a lot with a little.” I prayed over and over and over. And he did.
In all the places you're tempted to accuse him of not giving you what you need to be obedient, beg him for his grace, his power made perfect in weakness. He can do a lot with a little.
“without money, come to Jesus Christ and buy.”
