Last week, someone asked me about my start to the year. I told them that it felt a bit like I was preparing to cook a big meal on a super cluttered counter.

 

Can you relate? 

 

I love a clean start. I ached for the opportunity to clear the clutter before getting everything out to move forward into a new year. But the transition from 2023 to 2024 didn't leave a lot of room for me to reflect. So I scheduled a date with my best friend and with my husband to go through my favorite new years themed intentional questions… just a few days ago. Better late than never, am I right? But then I thought I'd share them with you! And my answers too! Nothing would make me happier than if you took the time to ask these of yourself! Or maybe even take a friend to lunch (or your spouse on a date) and ask them of one another!

 

For me, this one was pretty obvious: going to bed earlier. I knew this habit would naturally lead to waking up before my kids, feeling less tired (and probably therefore complaining less), having greater self-control, better memory and clarity of thought, more opportunities for intimacy with David, and an increased likelihood of parenting with intentionality instead of reactivity. Based on what I learned from reading Atomic Habits, I made this goal a little more specific by choosing something specific that would last no more than 2 minutes. I aimed to finish putting the house to bed in time to brush my teeth at 8:45pm (my electric toothbrush has a literal two minute timer). Since I was already there at the sink and not overtired, I knew I'd go ahead and wash my face. And once those two things are completed in my master bath, there's no chance I'm going back out to the living room. And so, I crawl into bed by 9:00pm with a reclaimed half hour for puzzles, reading, or connecting with David. And I naturally wake up at 5:30 or 6:00am with time to read my bible and get a head start on the day before my little ones emerge. This space has been SUCH an incredible gift to myself and to my marriage already. Highly recommend.

 

I LOVE this question because of the rapid fire nature. Here are just a few answers from the gigantic list in my journal:

 

Reading before bed, using a walking pad while I work, checking email and DMs on my desktop instead of my phone, washing my face earlier in the night, rhythms like walking to the general store on Fridays or going to the carwash on Tuesdays, getting up before the kids to do my bible study and discipleship homework, working out at nap time, setting firm boundaries with the kids, following a laundry schedule, leaving the house with the boys for a brain break before lunch, listening to audiobooks, watching Bluey together, getting separate desks for the kids instead of homeschooling at the kitchen table, switching to an electronic shared calendar with David, resetting a space every time we leave it, swapping runs with another homeschool mom at the park, stepping outside ASAP every day, using Yoto players during solo bedtimes, putting things in my phone calendar IMMEDIATELY, making plans to see friends, working at coffee shop, starting the process of getting ready to leave the house with the kids 15 minutes before I think I need to.

 

Watching “one more episode,” venting (to anyone about anything), trying to write/work/scheduling interviews in the morning (I just have to prioritize school or we won't get to it), not opening Asana every day,  having email and instagram at my fingertips all the time, restrictive diets and overeating (they can't give life, y'all). going to bed late, trying to get things done on a separate floor from my kids, overcommitting, pushing nap time (it turns out this just isn't worth it… like, ever), saying yes to ANYTHING before saying, “Let me talk to David about it.”

 

More: being present and slow with my kids.

Less: rushing/ multitasking.

 

I want our home to be a safe place characterized by kindness and peace. I am emphasizing this to my kids all the time right now, constantly telling them that if they want a peaceful home, they need to be people who make peace and that if they want home to feel safe, they need to be a safe space for their brothers. Mama needs to hear it too.

 

Other desires I have: that when my kids picture my face, my eyebrows won't be down, to always assume the best of others (especially David), maintain strong boundaries with email and socials, send this monthly newsletter consistently (as in 12 times this year), sleep 9:30pm-5:30am every night, possess a tame tongue, read through the Bible, love my discipleship group well and with intentionality, leave at least a week of wiggle room when I prep teaching content.

 

 

Listen, I want you to know how deeply grateful I am for a spot in your inbox. I don't take it lightly. Thanks for reading the words, buying the books, sending the encouragement, reaching out about events, and praying. Words fail to express the love I have for you email friends.

 

 

with humble gratitude,

 

 

“for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” (1 Timothy 4:8)

 

I've been talking with my kids a lot about spiritual muscles. They've been working on their soccer skills and trying to get faster (which I love!) and we've been talking about how we should pursue godliness the same way. If strength training is on the docket for me, I usually do it in front of my kids. Sometimes they make fun of me when I shake or grunt, but I've told them that the last few reps or when we can't hold the plank much longer is when the muscles get stronger. Paul Tripp and Timothy Lane call this “heat” in How People Change. In exercise and in life, when something feels too hard for us, that's when change happens… we stop depending on ourselves and ask the Holy Spirit for help, and we start looking a lot more like Jesus.

 

So, I'm using the phrase “This is an opportunity to practice/ get stronger in…” all the time when I notice our kids start to struggle. I validate the heat/ struggle/ temptation… often, we'll pray together, and then we give God glory after seeing evidence of growth!
 

Here are a few examples:

 

“This is an opportunity to practice self-control (or for your self control muscles to grow!). You'll be tempted to pull out of of the greeting cards, but you can put your hands behind your back, or take in a toy to play with instead. You can avoid temptation by not going near the kiosk. Let's ask God for help and the have fun while we wait”

 

“This is an opportunity to practice contentment. You might receive a color that isn't your first choice, but the muscle that lays down your own desires for the sake of peace will get stronger when you choose to receive it with gratitude instead of complaining or arguing.”

 

“Hey guys, Henry just came up, and I know he doesn't always understand the way you're playing and often messes things up. This is an opportunity to practice kindness. You can get stronger in charity and hospitality as you ask God to help you find a way to play together.”

 

 

The third and fourth board books in the Training Young Hearts series are now available for preorder! “What are Ears for?” and “What are Eyes for?” release on February 1, 2024!!!! 
 

And if you take advantage of the opportunity to order BOTH books for $15 before January 30th, you'll also get my favorite pre-order bonus yet: the sibling conflict resolution printable (among other things!!!).

 

I shared a peek inside these books (which I think I love even more than the hands and mouths books!!!) in this recent instagram reel.

A: I truly love that you used the word “fight” in this question. Because you're already recognizing two things…first, this is a battle. It isn't easy or natural. And secondly, it requires effort. David actually divulged to me last year that he didn't feel like he was a priority. He felt like he got the crumbs that were left over after I served everyone else. I took inventory, and you know what? Not only were his feelings valid, but his perception was accurate. My time and attention revealed that I was putting mostly every other person and commitment in my life in front of him. How did I seek to change this?

 

A: I love this question because it gave me an opportunity to reflect. I just notice that my relational capacity is so much greater when I am not on it. I'm quicker to text encouragement or pause to pray in the margins during which I may have looked at my phone. I set a new boundary for 2024 because of this, actually. I'm committed to only check social media with intention (getting on with a specific purpose) and only while I am away from my children. Another limit is that I won't bring it into my literal bed. When I wake up, it's scripture first. When I lay down, I'm reading, doing a sudoku puzzle, or being present with David. I think this will especially be a gift to myself during an election year.

 

 

 

A: I am SO glad you asked! I listen to audio books for most of the non-fiction that I read (most of this is research for writing… when I hit something I want to remember, I bookmark it and highlight the physical book later). I will listen while I run, walk, or ride the bike in the morning. I also listen while I do household chores. Hoopla is free through my local library and if I can't find a title there I use audible. I keep the physical copy on hand to underline or highlight research I want to come back to. Listening to audio books has made me a much more diligent fiction/ memoir reader because I see how drops in the bucket (a few minutes here or there) add up. I keep a list in my planner of books people gush about… I'm reading Cold Mountain right now, then I'll start on that list. So far for this year it contains these titles: Year of Jubilee, How to Stay Married, When Crickets Cry, Keepers of the Lost City, The Water Keeper. I'll also read whatever my book club girlies choose (right now that's “The Heiress”). I read “just for fun” titles like this before bed or if time allows, during my kids' quiet time or while they play at a park or the beach if it's a unicorn occasion where they don't need me to watch or aren't begging me to play.

 

I'm excited to be leading a Workshop at The Great Homeschool Convention March 14th-16th in Greenville, SC. Any of y'all going?! I would LOVE to see you there!

 

I'll also be at TGCW24 “Behold and Believe” in June and will be on a panel on Friday morning with Sara Walton and Linda Green, talking about the grace of God in different stages of parenting. I truly hope I get to hug you there!!!

I am wrapping up two book proposals (one of which I have been sitting on for six months). As I prepare to hand them over to my agent, your girl is fighting some major fear of rejection, feelings of inadequacy, and doubt about God's provision. If I come to mind this month, please pray for me. I want God to get glory in my thoughts and my heart as I seek to glorify him in my broader work.

“If You have seen my weakest moments
And still You love me even then
I need no greater confirmation
That God, Your goodness has no end”

-City Alight

 

I'll save my best work and thoughts for this list, but I'll still be posting on the gram. If we're not connected there, I'd love for you to come follow along! Just click one of these “lately” photos below!