The holidays are here and statistically, it’s not the happiest time of year for everyone.
I have a gut feeling that most of you are not as happy as you could be (or want to be).
So, it begs the question, are you happy? Or are you just pretending to be happy while secretly feeling miserable inside?
If you’re like most people, you probably fall into the second category. You probably put on a fake smile and tell everyone that you’re fine, when in reality, you’re nowhere close.
How do I know all of this? Because I’ve been there. I’ve been unhappy, frustrated, and even dissatisfied with my life. There have been times when I’ve felt like I didn’t belong, had no purpose, or always felt like I was being disappointed by others. It was like being stuck in a rut with zero control over my own destiny.
But then I realized something that changed my life forever.
Happiness is an inside job.
Happiness is not something that you can get from outside sources like money, popularity, or other people’s approval. Happiness is created on the inside by choosing the right habits.
The great news about this is that you can start this job at any time. You don’t need to wait for anything or anyone to make you happy. Not only do you have the power to make yourself happy, but you kind of owe it to yourself don’t you? If you think about it, the only one truly responsible for making you happy…is you.
I recently shared a post about certain characteristics that are detrimental to your happiness like caring too much about fitting in, putting unfair expectations on others, ignoring your own self-development, and even prioritizing negative thoughts which manifest negative things in your life.
I promise that these characteristics not only negatively affect your happiness, but also your health, your relationships, and your success. The truth is that living your life with these negative characteristics will prevent you from living up to your true potential.
get rid of these characteristics
Stop caring about fitting in and start caring about standing out. If you really want to be yourself, then embrace what makes you unique. Don’t let anyone else define you. Want to be more popular at work? Then get noticed for your hard work, not for being the most well-liked.
Create a vision for the future and work towards it. I’ve talked about this quite a bit. There is a real power to setting goals and making plans. The first step is to visualize your desired outcome, then take action and put in the work to make it happen. Never let fear, doubt, or procrastination stop you.
Stop expecting too much from other people and start expecting more from yourself. If you rely on others to make you happy or fulfill your needs, then you’re creating an environment that is setting you up for massive failure and disappointment. Becoming independent and self-reliant will help you take charge of your own happiness.
Don’t ever stop learning and growing. I’m not saying you need to go back to college, but there are so many ways to continue to learn. Read books, watch videos, listen to podcasts, or attend a seminar on something that has always interested you. By expanding your knowledge and interests, you will grow as a person.
Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. I get it, it’s easier said than done, but it is a skill that can be learned and practiced until it becomes natural. Be aware of your inner dialogue and how it affects your mood. It’s proven that by expressing gratitude and optimism, you can boost your happiness. It’s also proven that complaining, criticizing, or blaming others negatively affects your mental state.
On the surface, these are simple practical tips to help increase your happiness, but there is a reason I selected these…and a lot of it is rooted in science.
Have you heard of oxytocin? No, it’s not a pill.
“love” hormone
Simply put, oxytocin is a hormone created in the body that is commonly referred to as the “love” hormone. In fact, this chemical compound released by the hypothalamus in the brain has been proven to increase feelings of happiness. Chemical reactions in the brain don’t sound very romantic, but technically, happiness can only come from within and nowhere else.
But before you go start shopping online, I’ll save you the time. You can’t buy it and there are no foods that contain it. Your brain has to make it. There is no other way around it.
That being said, you can give your brain the healthy diet it needs so it can function normally. Foods and supplements that contain Vitamin D, C, and Magnesium are the best place to start for brain health.
But what’s better than that is that there are also activities that can boost your brain’s ability to manufacture this hormone.
The following have all been documented to boost the brain’s ability to manufacture oxytocin:
Practicing yoga or meditation
Laughter
Expressing gratitude and appreciation (I told you so)
Listening to, or making music
Giving or receiving support
The Secret of Happiness…You
Like I said, happiness is an inside job. The key is understanding and identifying the negative characteristics that are destroying your happiness and remove them from your life…as soon as you possibly can.
You should always continue to learn, but learning is only one part. When it comes to happiness, you also have to take action to make yourself happy.
No one else is going to do it for you – just you.
This is one topic you really don’t need to contemplate. Just start creating your happiness today and enjoy the benefits.
I also believe that positivity is contagious, which is why I encourage you to share what is working for you, and if you find yourself struggling to come up with something, then come to me with questions! This is why I do this!
