Dear Friend,
Last month, the women in my group program did a deep dive on the topics of gratitude and celebration.
Part way through the session, I had them do two timed activities. They first had to write down everything they felt grateful for, and then write down everything they wanted to celebrate from the year.
When we were done, they shared one key reflection: "It was pretty easy to make a list of things I'm grateful for, but it was hard to think of things to celebrate.”
Spoiler alert: this experience is not unique to these women. Most humans are awful about celebrating their progress and wins, including really successful leaders like the women on that call.
So what do I mean by celebration? Different from gratitude, which is the state of being grateful through an observable practice, celebration is an intentional effort to acknowledge moments in your life that are moving you in the direction you want to go.
To be clear, I'm not talking about baby showers, graduation parties, or birthday celebrations. I'm talking about pausing during the week to make note of your incremental progress and give yourself a pat on the back.
Over the years, I've learned that celebration is one of the lowest hanging fruits we have for living a happy life and moving the needle on our growth. Yet, most of us live a life void of this practice - so much that we sometimes resist it.
Researchers have found that a lack of celebration has become more pronounced since the pandemic (Source). It's a challenge that's impacting us at home and at work, and getting in the way of our individual and collective success.
So why is this the case? There are a many factors that contribute to the celebration deficit, but here are four reasons why you may struggle with celebration:
1 - You assume celebration should only be for the big things
Consumer marketing is all about highlighting the shiny objects and outcomes - running the half marathon, hitting your goal weight, landing your dream job, or finding your person. Rarely are you encouraged to celebrate small wins or share about your progress along the way. The irony is, if you don't embrace the small milestones, you're less likely to enjoy the process and achieve the end result.
2 - You don't have habits or systems for celebration
Just like any habit you want to cultivate, celebration is something that requires intentional effort and consistency. If you don't have systems that allow celebration to happen, you can't expect yourself to follow through with it (think: “out of sight, out of mind”). [Scroll down for a few ideas on celebration habits.]
3 - You feel uncomfortable celebrating yourself or worry what other people think
Celebration should be a happy, natural, and welcomed practice. Yet, you may feel awkward celebrating your wins - whether it's on your own or in the company of others (note: this can be especially challenging for women, who are often criticized when they celebrate their achievements).
At the end of the day, what gets in the way of your celebration are your fears and the false beliefs you have about yourself. While these are valid human experiences, they are not a reason to dim your light.
4 - Nothing is ever “good enough” for you
Do you ever find yourself downplaying your achievements when someone gives you a compliment? Or when you hit a goal, you tell yourself that you could have done better? Yeah, I thought so (me too).
There's a big difference between striving for excellence and trying to be perfect. Whereas healthy striving can be a good thing, perfection is not an attainable goal. If you only wait to celebrate until you've done something perfectly, you're going to be waiting for a long time.
I loved this message on my friend Sarah's holiday card this year: “Sarah spent the past year training for the New York City marathon and, despite not winning the race, finished strong with a big smile and no injuries.” Now that is what I call a celebration.
. . .
If you're interested in making celebration a thing for you in 2024, here are three strategies to try:
1 - Create consistent celebration habits that work for you
Whether you maintain a celebration journal, have a recurring celebration block on your calendar, or add notes to a celebration jar, develop habits that work for you and bring you joy. And remember to be consistent. Consider crafting a celebration mantra or identity statement to repeat out loud: “I am someone who embraces celebration with an open heart."
2 - Fall in love with the process and remember the “S Curve”
As we learned earlier, when you enjoy the process and celebrate along the way, you are more likely to achieve your goals. Consider using a “S Curve” approach for celebration - especially for larger or longer-term goals. With the S Curve model, there are three stages: the launch point (or “fruitful struggle”), competence (where you boost your progress or productivity), and mastery (where you can experience boredom and stagnation). When you celebrate at each stage, you achieve more sustainable results (Source).
3 - Be a role model for celebration
The more you practice celebrating yourself and others, the more others will be inspired to follow in suit. Make an intentional effort to celebrate your friends, relatives, and colleagues at work - including their small wins. Do it as often as possible. And remember: surround yourself with the right people who love celebrating you and your success. If you have people in your life who don't want to see you shine, it's time to ignore those people.
. . .
Now that you're (hopefully) on board for more celebration, here are some closing journal prompts as you close out 2023:
- What are three things you feel the most proud of this year?
- What celebration habits do you want to practice in 2024?
- If you decided to celebrate yourself every week, how might your life or work performance change?
Remember that celebration is an act of self-respect, and a recognition that you are worthy of your success. As you wrap up the year, please know I'll be raising a glass and sending you positive vibes.
