Being married makes me so happy I could cry. It helps that I am very in love with the man I chose and who chose me. It’s wonderful to me that only a few weeks ago I was feeling so blue and today I am like new. CHanukah (my jewish husband told me only goy’s spell Chanukah with an H lol) was an absolute success as a proper Jew. Lighting candles every night and starting these new traditions with my little family of husband, dog-son and I feels right on track. I did not have a Christmas tree this year for the first time in my entire life. And I don’t think I’m going to miss it. I thought I would. I knew that if I really wanted one I could have argued (and won) for a “Chanukah bush”. But I didn’t need one. Which tbh felt very adult, *calm & graceful* of me. Also, bonus points for helping the environment and not having to clean up thistles everyday. 

I meme'd myself into a perfect meme by @scoutlaruewillis

*Calm and with grace* is what I would like to take with me into the new year. 2024, forty years old, calm and full of grace. Puts a smile on my face. 

Surfing

 

Guess who tried surfing a few weeks back? This girl did. Remember Delia’s and Roxy catalogs? Me too. And those ladies (teens) that graced the pages were everything that I wanted to be growing up. But I was a heavy teenage girl and my parents were not interested in taking me to the beach and I wasn’t loud enough to say I wanted to learn and be like those beautiful girls that did. I stayed quiet and maybe angry too, and instead just let those images get farther and farther out of my reach. Cut to today. Like my therapist tells me, “I am a grown ass adult who can take her life into her own hands! So I did! I reached out to a surf instructor via another co worker of mine and had the most exhilarating morning I’ve had in a very long time. I was so scared and still am but my body could not wait to jump in the water and get hit with that cold. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. Since then is when my mood lifted, I know that for sure. I didn’t stand up, but I did learn a very important thing about my body number 1. I must return to yoga. Hands down, no more excuses. If I want to be calm and graceful into the next aging years of my life I think the first thing I have to get in order along with my heart and mind is my body. I need to be stronger if I want to surf. Period. 

Dec 4, 2023 my first day surfing, C Street, Ventura Co. 

It is all very exciting to me, just being in the water was such an amazing way to spend my time. I am really impressed with myself for finding the courage to do it.

NASA announced on Dec. 19, 2023, that it has found a cluster of young stars called NGC 2264, also known as the “Christmas Tree Cluster,” which uncannily resembles the shape of a Christmas tree surrounded by bright lights. NGC 2264 is, a cluster of young stars with ages between about one and 5 million years old - in our Milky Way - about 2,500 light years away from Earth! 

PHOTO; NASA (also looks could be the Grinch to me :) 

I wish everyone a calm and graceful end of December and would like to thank everyone for reading and supporting this random newsletter that has no purpose other than to help me process this life by sharing my experiences, feelings and insecurities. I am grateful for this outlet and grateful for anyone who reads it and cringes for me too. 

 

Thank you for reading me 

💘