Happy New Year, my darling friend. Itās actively snowing outside as I write to you. I am cocooned by the depths of winter and granting myself a moment to reflect and take stock. Wherever this letter finds you, may it greet you with the warmth of a hot cup of tea and the stillness of natureās most inward season. I recently stumbled upon a commencement speech that environmental activist and author Paul Hawken delivered in 2009 titled āYou Are Brilliant, and the Earth Is Hiring.ā Iāve been so moved by his articulation that I have decided to use his words as a means of transparent self-examination . . . asking myself this provocative inquiry: āIn recent times, how have you stayed awake and how have you fallen asleep?ā In his speech, Hawken states, |
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āWhen asked if I am pessimistic or optimistic about the future, my answer is always the same: If you look at the science about what is happening on earth and arenāt pessimistic, you donāt understand the data. But if you meet the people who are working to restore this earth and the lives of the poor, and you arenāt optimistic, you havenāt got a pulse. What I see everywhere in the world are ordinary people willing to confront despair, power, and incalculable odds in order to restore some semblance of grace, justice, and beauty to this world.ā |
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Rather than starting with everything Iām not doing well, I am going to share a triangulation of experiences that Iāve had lately, as I think they accurately depict what matters most to me and the ways I stay connected to my wakefulness. 1. My husband Jonathan and I attended a Brother Ali concert after a loving Shabbat dinner with some of our closest friends and their two daughters. There was something about the innate juxtaposition of the eveningāa home-cooked meal and wholesome family time followed by a tiny concert venue that smelled of beer and cigarettesāthat really set my heart afire. It felt as though I was living on the edges of lifeās many extremes and how divine it feels to surrender into lifeās polarities, contradictions, and dualities. In one moment, I was surrounded by safety and familiarity and in the next I was huddled amidst a crowd of strangers moving their bodies to the beats of an albino rapperās words. - I am wakeful when I stretch my capacity and choose to live in the gray area.
- I am wakeful when my body and all five senses are at the forefront, whether that be tasting nourishing food, dancing to live music, or witnessing the diversity of humanity come together for a shared goal.
- I am wakeful when I stay up a wee bit too late reminding myself that when I stay adaptable, open, and spontaneous, my heart is more accepting of differences and extending compassion to others.
2. I was invited to attend a nigun, a Jewish sing-along for all intents and purposes, by a friend of mine. I had no idea what it was, but I said āyesā regardless and arrived on my own to soon find myself in a crowded house of 40 20/30-something Jews. What followed was an evening of accessing community through ritual, prayer, connection to heritage, and awe-inspiring acceptance. Throughout the evening, any of the participants could jump in and lead the group in a song of their liking. A socially anxious man with trembling hands felt safe enough to step into his leadership and take charge. His voice was crap and his rhythm was off, but none of that mattered as everyone joined in, assuring him that he was not alone. - I am wakeful when I say YES without knowing whatās to come, which allows me opportunities to feel delighted and surprised by life. It also loosens my grip of control and reminds me time and time again how little I know.
- I am wakeful when I connect to my roots. When I honor my ancestors and where Iāve come from. When I put community in all its forms at the forefront of my being. It reminds me of how small and big I am all at the same time. My lineage and being in relationship with others support my continued belief in the interconnectedness of all of humanity.
- I am wakeful when I suspend my judgments and do things that arenāt considered ācool.ā Things that humble me and tenderize my heart.
3. Jonathan and I spent Christmas morning slowly soaking our bodies in three natural hot springs in the Crystal River Valley of Colorado. With sweeping vistas of the Rocky Mountains (and Iām not even a mountain gal!) and crisp winter air, we let ourselves melt into the silence of the holiday morning. Dipping in and out of conversation with other soakers, we basked in the sweetness of Mother Nature and her ability to bring people together. - I am wakeful when I am unplugged from technology and fully invested in the beauty of the present moment.
- I am wakeful when I invest quality time with those I love, ensuring that they feel seen, appreciated, and taken care of.
- I am wakeful when I immerse myself in natureās glory and remind myself of how lucky I am to breathe fresh air, drink clean water, and feel wildly alive as Iām exposed to the elements.
In the middle of Hawkenās speech he declares, |
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āThe living world is not āout thereā somewhere, but in your heart. What do we know about life? In the words of biologist Janine Benyus, life creates the conditions that are conducive to life.ā |
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In general, I feel proud of the ways I am connected to my heart and hold myself accountable to creating conditions that are conducive to life and keep me in a wakeful state of awareness, growth, and transformation. Like all imperfect humans, there are also many things that I have chosen to ignore, forget, and avoid. In a world that is riddled with grief, despair, and heartache, it feels impossible to not actively choose to, at times, fall asleep. Itās all just too much. Itās too painful, too overwhelming, too all-consuming. And yet, here I am with a captive audience and a commitment to sharing as a means of accessing more evolved parts of myself that I have yet to meet. - I am asleep when I buy anything without asking myself the following questions (which come from my dear friend Lelaās coach): āWhat need do I think this will meet?ā and āHow else can I get this need met?ā Iāve been really challenging myself with how I spend my money lately, and I have been digging into a few TED Talks listed below on a āno spend year.ā
- I am asleep when I numb myself out with television in bed. Itās not that Iām opposed to watching a show from time to time, but lying with my computer screen mere inches from my burning retinas feels like a particular form of dissociation. Consciously choosing to watch TV (which means taking our television out of hiding each time I want to participate in this form of screen time) in the living room feels much more purposeful and awake.
- I am asleep when I make up white lies to avoid someone elseās discomfort or disappointment.
- I am asleep when I overwork or believe that any aspect of my work is urgent. I can redirect this energy to that which is an actual emergency: the environment, social justice, and the many crises of humanity.
- I am asleep when I opt for convenience over hard work. I want my mind to stay sharp and my heart to remain soft. I accept that there is no quick fix or five-step solution and can commit myself more fully to doing the thing versus outsourcing the thing.
- I am asleep when I ignore whatās going on in the world because itās just too heartbreaking. Although I must be thoughtful of my energy, itās also my responsibility to acknowledge my privilege and continue to stay aware, awake, and alive to whatās happening.
Thereās much more I could state but I want to create actionable change inside of myself and I fear that if I overshare, Iāll start to drown in what I want to do differently. So, for now, Iāll leave you with those six things and one of the final paragraphs of Hawkenās speech. |
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āSo I have two questions for you all: First, can you feel your body? Stop for a moment. Feel your body. One septillion activities going on simultaneously, and your body does this so well you are free to ignore it, and wonder instead when this speech will end. You can feel it. It is called life. This is who you are. Second question: Who is in charge of your body? Who is managing those molecules? Hopefully not a political party. Life is creating the conditions that are conducive to life inside you, just as in all of nature. Our innate nature is to create the conditions that are conducive to life. What I want you to imagine is that collectively humanity is evincing a deep innate wisdom in coming together to heal the wounds and insults of the past.ā |
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May this coming year be one where you spend more time awake than asleep. And may you remember that youāre brilliant, and the earth is hiring. With love, |
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A list of some things, places (mostly Colorado establishments), and people Iāve been loving lately. |
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- Paul Hawkenās commencement speech, You Are Brilliant, and the Earth Is Hiring.
- Ruth Asawa and Henry Taylor exhibitions at the Whitney Museum of American Art in NYC. Two stunning collections that are in wild juxtaposition to one another. Taylorās bold paintings and Asawaās delicate drawings are not to be missed.
- Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh. Broshās twisted, unapologetic sense of humor and hysterical illustrations are a delight. I am not one to tout a graphic novel, but damn, did I snort-laugh during this read.
- Slow Horses. This quick-witted spy drama series follows a dysfunctional team of MI5 agentsāand their obnoxious boss, the notorious Jackson Lambāas they navigate the espionage worldās smoke and mirrors to defend England from sinister forces. I love this show.
- Avalanche Ranch Hot Springs. A stunning, rustic getaway in the heart of the Rocky Mountains.
- Read, Eat, Repeat: A delightful Substack that includes recipes, book recommendations, and musings by my friend Emily who is the queen of culture and the co-owner of Botanica Restaurant & Market in Los Angeles.
- Stylist and brand consultant, Lauren Blakeley. If you are a female founder looking for a sustainable way to refresh your wardrobe, Lauren is a gem. Hereās a reel of her styling me in 2023.
- Boulder Tea Hut, a ceremonial space and gallery to gather in community around the art of tea-making and drinking.
- On Being podcast with Nick Cave: Loss, Yearning, Transcendence. Speaking in a mystical fashion about his experience with grief, Cave is an embodiment of a life examined and evolved.
- TEDx Talk: Stop Buying Stuff. Author Niko Stoifberg shares his experience of not buying anything for a year.
- Society of the Snow. I'm not sure the last time I saw a movie that moved (and shocked!) me so deeply. In 1972, a Uruguayan flight crashes in the remote heart of the Andes, forcing survivors to become each other's best hope for survival.
- Slow Flow Guiding. If you ever find yourself in Colorado and are looking for a nature-based experience to help you unplug and get outside, look no further. The founder may be my husband, but Iāve yet to meet someone more sage, adventurous, or thoughtful to guide me in the great outdoors.
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