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When we are overwhelmed, we can spend more time explaining and complaining than solving what’s wrong. We don’t take the time to slow ourselves down and ask ourselves what has to change for there to be more capacity and peace in our home? 

One of the tools in the Own The Ordinary course I’m developing is the I’m Pissed List. It’s not a very lady-like name, but it’s the most honest name I could give it. When I’m stuck - I’m not one to be a little bugged… I’m pissed. And when I’m mad enough to be pissed off - I know I’m ready to put energy into change.

What is the I’m Pissed List?
The I’m Pissed List is literally a list of the things that make you mad over and over again. They can be big things (I never have time for myself) or small things (you never hang up your coat). It’s a heat map to show you where to start solving.
The purpose of this exercise is not to ambush one another with every possible grievance but rather to begin articulating the things that are really frustrating each of you - and begin to work through solving them with new systems and agreements that remove the crazy and replace it with more peace. 
This is how it works:
  • Take 5 minutes and write out your I’m Pissed List (have your spouse do this separately)
    • Examples: Our kitchen counter is always grimy and covered in dirty dishes. No one else seems to know how to unload the dishwasher. I never have time to workout.
  • Schedule time and share your lists with one another.
    • Have a kind, productive conversation. Don’t let this turn into an argument. Tip: Do not react while the other shares.
  • Identify the Issue you’d like to solve
    • Start with the one you both feel would create the most peace.
  • Make a clear agreement on how you’ll solve it
  • Stay accountable to one another.
    • Write it down so you know what you’re working towards and get after it!
It feels obvious. But the magic is saying what makes you frustrated clearly to one another and deciding, which one thing we’re going to solve. This simple step works to take unnecessary tension out of our homes.

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Top Scared Confident episodes of 2023
As 2023 comes to a close, I wanted to thank you for your support of Scared Confident. I feel more focused than ever to create content that helps families navigate the complexities that exist in a two-career home. 
In case you missed them, here are the top 5 performing episodes of 2023.

As I look at trying to reach more two-career families, there are 2 things that could help:
  1. Spread the word. Share one of these episodes with a friend that would love it
  2. Leave a quick review and subscribe on Apple Podcasts
As always thank you for your continued support of this project - I’m rooting for you.
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