You’ve been there before. Waking up in the morning and feeling that heavy weight on your chest. It can be so bad sometimes that it makes it difficult to get out of bed.

 

But before you go online to self-diagnose, I’ll save you the time.

 

That feeling is regret.

 

It’s strange that an emotion can consume your entire being to the point that is physically affects you, but I’m here to tell you (and research backs me up) it’s absolutely true.

Everyone knows what regret feels like. Sometimes we experience it in the moment, and some of us get that feeling the following day. It’s almost as if there is this little ball of ice sitting in your stomach that makes you feel uncomfortable.

 

Think about it, have you pledged to go a week or a month without alcohol only to break that promise to yourself within just a few days? It’s sucks, doesn’t it?

 

If I just described you, don’t freak out. It happens to a lot of people. You can blame it on life if you want, but the only one who can put alcohol or drugs in your body is you. 

 

No one else…just you.

 

Not only that, but the one person who makes you feel that overwhelming guilt and regret is also you. Not your family, not your friends…again, just you.

 

Regret is a different kind of pain, isn’t it? It’s both physical and mental. It’s a negative emotion that causes a flurry of internal dialogue in your mind (which usually accompanies a headache or some other sh*tty physical feeling).

 

And without having to ask you, in those moments, I’m pretty sure that the little voice in your mind is telling you some pretty harsh things like you’re wasting your life, hurting the ones you love, or wasting your talents and opportunities.

 

It sucks to hear, especially from yourself. Do you know why?

 

Because it’s true.

I’m not just talking about the regrets that come from drugs and alcohol, I’m also referring to talking about people behind their backs, binging on junk food, cheating on, or lying to, those you care about, or just being lazy.

 

Some people think they’re pretty clever and believe they will be able to talk their way out of this whether it’s to themselves or someone else. But let me remind you of a simple fact: Regret is not something you can negotiate with. It’s not something you can make a deal with and hope that it goes away, and you definitely can’t ignore it and just pretend it doesn’t exist.

 

So where does this feeling come from?

 

Regret comes from doing something that is not in alignment with your purpose. I’ve met a lot of people in my lifetime, and not one of them had a life’s purpose that was centered around drinking and doing drugs.

 

Even if you think hitting a joint when you’re alone and no one is watching is fine, remember, there is still someone who is always watching.

 

 

Whether you consciously know you’re doing it or not, you’re always judging yourself and your choices. You know damn well what the expected consequences of your behaviors are. We learn that at a very young age. You know you’re the only one accountable for your results (no victim mentality here), and no matter how hard you might try, there is one person in this world that you can never run or hide from…you.

In many of these newsletters I offer advice on how to overcome certain challenges in your life, but with regret, there really is only one way out.

 

And you should know what I’m about to say next.

 

The best and only way to remove guilt from your life is to stop the behaviors that cause the regret. I realize that going “cold turkey” on anything is not an easy task, but stopping behaviors that cause you guilt is one of those things where you either do it, or you don’t.

 

The answer sounds simple, but I’m aware of how difficult it can be. You think I didn’t struggle when I gave up drinking and weed? Of course I did. But, like I’m asking you to do now, I made a decision to face my guilt and regrets and do whatever it took to overcome them because I hate that feeling and don’t ever want to feel it again.

 

So, what are you going to do now? If you’ve decided to live a life with no regrets, that’s great, but how are you going to turn your decision into action? How are you going to make sure that you don’t fall back into your old habits and patterns?

 

I’ll tell you…you have to take action today.

 

Next week is not the right answer and neither is tomorrow. Today is what matters. Why? Because today is the only day you can control. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. It’s an overused phrase, but it’s also completely true.

Some of you may lean on friends and family for feedback and support and that’s great. Maybe some of you belong to groups or communities of people that you can open up to. If so, take advantage of it.

 

Bottom line, whatever you do, do it today. Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Don’t wait until you have crafted some plan. Motivation is not bottled and sold. You just need to take action.

 

The sooner you start, the sooner you’ll see results. This is true for everything. It’s also true that the sooner you begin, the sooner you’ll be happier and feel freer than ever before.

 

So, what are you waiting for? What are you afraid of? What are you holding on to, or letting go of, that has you afraid to change?

 

It’s time to just face your regrets and overcome them. It’s how you build a life with purpose.

 

We all have regrets, either from the past, or one that you live with daily. Whatever it is, I’m here as a safe place for you confide. I’m not a paid therapist, but I am someone who gives a sh*t about all of you, and if learning from my experiences can help you, then I’m happy to listen and share.

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