MOOD: WORK 2 HARD š§±
āI work too hard for my name to let you come put dirt on itā¦ā
- Zoey Dollaz, Work 2 Hard
Peace, First name / movemaker and happy MAJORMOOD Monday! Iām gonna keep it 100 on this one (especially since it would be inauthentic of me to research an artist in 7-days time)ā¦ but, Iāve only heard two Zoey Dollaz tracks in my lifetime. I will say, the ones I have listened to ā I have FULLY RINSED, day-in & day-out, on repeat, drilling the deep messages & emotions into my soul. Mainly the messages from Work 2 Hard as the other tune is a bit more bleakā¦ Regardless, it's an honest bop called āDevil In My Bedā... and we love honesty.
With that said, today's newsletter is going to take an unconventional approach. Mercifully, right as I was about to give-up and accept that this weeks email would be weaker than the previous, I turned the page while reading Rick Rubins, āThe Creative Act: A Way of Beingā and BOOMā¦I found meaning. I found purpose ā and most importantly, I found truth worth writing about. Still with me? (keep scrolling for storytime with Gi)
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Storytime: In 2020, I had built up the courage to move to London for the release of my grime album. At the time, I was managing a collective of artists that I had worked with since 2015, a few of whom I had been friends with for years prior to that. Without giving too many details, it was quite literally a MAJORMOVE for me to up and leave NYC without 'my team', and at the time who I thought was my family. As an avid runner, I made sure to keep that same energy when I arrived to London ā but for some reason (or now, for obvious reasons) I would listen to āWork 2 Hardā on repeat, non-stop, for the entirety of my 3-mile run. The lyrics resonated so deeply: āI work too hard for my name to let you come throw dirt on itā¦ā Of course I was proud of the hard work it took for me to get to where I was, but there was also something more profound to considerā¦ |
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'A CRYPTIC FORM OF PUBLIC CONFESSION' |
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The Deeper Meaning: Although I was very boldly writing about the relationships that I had outgrown in my music (i.e. Ghost & Bruh), and simultaneously listening to songs that directly correlate to that reality (i.e Work 2 Hard), my soul was simply not ready to fully embrace the truth just yet. Thanks to Rick Rubin's sentiment on "emotions hiding in deeper layers of the psyche"ā¦I feel much less insane realizing that I actually wrote this music while still working with the people it was written about!
It was a difficult process, realizing that these people weren't my people, and perhaps more importantly ā that I wasn't theirs either. I do give myself grace as I had dedicated years to this collective ā and to complicate things even further, I also lived with them. I guess at the time, I just didn't realize that length of time doesn't necessarily equate to quality of friendship. What I've learned from Rick? The written word seems to be an important window into subconscious truths. There's is a certain validity given to an emotion once it hits paper. At the same time, I find it important to note that these emotions may not always be the 'end all be all,' but rather, a part of a larger and evolving narrative. (we're almost thereā¦stay with me). |
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I could sit here and blame all of the people in my past for their supposed āwrongdoings,ā but that's not how I actually feel. At the time, I may have been filled with anger and resentment which came out in my music, but now, years later ā I'm filled with compassion (and mostly for myself).
I am not ashamed to say that I was somewhat disconnected from who I truly was back then. That disconnect led me to stay in relationships that were no longer serving me, and more importantly ā were not in alignment with my higher self. We see it too often ā friends staying in partnerships that are so obviously toxic, people remaining in soul-sucking jobs that they clearly despiseā¦ it's so easy to get comfortable in the familiar. Even when the familiar is what's secretly making you uncomfortable!
All in all, I don't regret a single bit of my experience. What I've learned through the ebbs and flows of these relationships is just how resilient I truly am. It's hard work to be a musician and even harder work to be a human. I am truly grateful for every L (lesson) that God has graced me with over the years ā this lesson being a significant one: Sometimes in order to elevate, it's more of what you need to lose, rather than what you need to gain. āDonāt care If I step alone, still gonā popā¦hit a few red lights, still donāt stopā¦ā BRUH |
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