First name / Friend,
This month I want to talk about the concept of achievement.
If you've worked with me or know me well, you know I have a lot of mixed feelings about it.
On one side, achievement (and the culture we've created around it) gives me a major eye roll.
I cringe when people only post on LinkedIn to humble brag or showcase their latest promotion.
I feel sad when parents only share on Instagram what their kids are achieving, and not what they love about them as humans.
As a coach, it breaks my heart when I ask someone what they love about themselves outside of what's on their resume, and they can't answer the question.
On the other side, achievement can bring a lot of inspiration and good vibes.
I love it when a friend tells me about a big win that brings them joy.
I cheer loudly when a client steps into their zone of genius and finds work that they love.
I'm in awe when I see leaders share about a win for their team after navigating a challenge or setback.
I feel happy when I see people freely celebrate things on social media besides promotions, weddings, babies, and graduations.
. . .
To be clear, I don't think achievement is a bad thing. But I think we (as humans) can have an unhealthy relationship with it.
There is a big difference between (what I call) traditional vs. authentic achievement.
I like to think of traditional achievement as surface level - a bit shallow, externally motivated, and rooted in perfectionism.
Traditional achievement is fueled by external validation, the media, and unhealthy competition.
Traditional achievement tells you that in order to be good enough and feel worthy of belonging, you have to collect gold stars.
Traditional achievement is celebrated at toxic workplaces where people work from scarcity and believe they don't have permission to fail.
Traditional achievement is hustling for your self-worth and going through the motions until you find yourself feeling completely exhausted, resentful, or unfulfilled.
So what is authentic achievement, and how is it different?
I like to think of authentic achievement as genuine, healthy, and internally motivated.
Authentic achievement is rooted in your core values and a meaningful why.
Authentic achievement happens when you aren't hustling for your self worth, or worried about what other people think.
Authentic achievement feels light in your body and happens when you know you are worthy of love and belonging, regardless of end result.
. . .
So, how can you lean into authentic achievement? Here are five journal prompts to help you get aligned with your dreams this year.
5 Questions to Build Authentic Achievement
1 - Think about accomplishments in your life that have meant the most to you and brought you the most joy. Why was that the case?
2 - Think about a time when you achieved something “significant” but didn't feel very excited about it. Why do you think that was?
3 - Write down three goals or intentions for 2024. For each of them, ask yourself how aligned they are with your core values, and why they are important to you.
4 - What habits do you have that are getting in your way of living your most authentic and happy life?
5 - Where in your life are you hustling for your self worth vs. striving for excellence in a healthy way?
. . .
Earlier this year, I had a great interview with a client of mine, who is one of the most ambitious people I know. She shared:
“Is my motivation coming from a place of ego, or is it coming from my authentic self? Answering that question is really important. If what you are doing is in alignment with your authentic code and who you want to become, you don’t have as much of a need to look for the next thing. If you just think about the achievement, you might lose who you are along the way.”
This year, I hope that you can strive for achievement in a way that feels authentic to you.
If you have a moment, reply to this email to let me know what it might mean to you.
