EPILOGUE: FILTHY LAWYER
(THREE PARTS)
Epilogue 1
Damien
One Year Later
How the hell does this keep happening to me?
I was trudging along on the Manhattan Bridge, the same place I was this time last year, and yet again, I'd failed to note the anniversary.
"You have four interviews before noon," Michelle said. "Before you ask, yes, I triple-checked their backgrounds and had someone run an audit."
"I thought we had a deal, Michelle," I said. "You look out for me and I look out for you."
"I am looking out for you."
"Then why am I scheduled for interviews?"
She laughed. "Do you want to hear the rest of your schedule?"
"Not really."
"Your girlfriend requested a meeting at one o'clock under a fake name again," she said. "Can you please tell her that I know you're together? Hell, everyone in this office knows."
I smiled. "I have no idea what you're talking about. What name is it under?"
"Miss Olivia Benson."
"That's a real client of mine, Michelle." I pulled into the left lane. "I'll be at the firm in twenty."
"Wait a second," she said. "I need to ask you something, so you won't be able to hold it over my head any longer."
"I'm listening."
"Besides my ridiculous paycheck, how exactly do you look out for me?"
You wouldn't believe me if I told you. "I don't even think I can count the many ways right now."
"Try me." She laughed. "I'll wait."
"In that case, schedule a lunch date for the two of us a week from now, and I'll tell you everything." Once and for all…
"You still have interviews a week from now, Mr. Carter."
"If you want this list from me, I don't. The final verdict is up to you…"
She ended the call, and my dashboard lit up with an appointment for next Friday.
Perfection.
When I finally arrived at the firm, Andrew was waiting for me in my office.
"I think we should flip a coin to see who gets the honor of handling the first interview this year," he said.
"It should be you since I was first last year."
"That would be far too predictable."
"I think you mean 'fair,' Andrew."
"You're handling every single one of them together." Michelle joined us, placing a stack of folders on my desk. "Jessica told me it was non-negotiable."
"Jessica isn't here." Andrew pulled out a quarter, ignoring her. "Heads for me, tails for Damien."
He flipped it, and it fell to the floor on its side.
It spun toward the door, stopping against the edge of a file cabinet, but it never fell over.
It remained standing tall.
"Well, look at that," I said. "The Great Quarter has spoken. It doesn't want either of us to do these interviews, so I guess we should cancel."
Michelle rolled her eyes and stepped on it. "You have ten minutes to meet the first applicant. Thanks."
She walked away, and Andrew picked up a book from my desk.
"You read romance novels now?" he asked.
"I stole those from Jessica's drawer," I said. "I needed some ideas."
"Viagra is a client of ours, if you're having trouble."
"Not that type." I groaned, snatching it from his hands. "It's about what I texted you weeks ago. Jessica has been far more helpful in that department, by the way."
"Speaking of Jessica…" He looked at his watch. "A couple of police officers called me a little while ago. They detained her at a cafe, and although they're not arresting her, they're taking her to the jail to cool off for a while."
"What the hell did she do?"
"She started dating a new guy last month and she showed her true colors a little too early."
I held back a sigh. "Let me guess, he found one of her hidden cameras in his bedroom?"
"No, she's far more unhinged now." He smiled. “Since her boyfriend is the manager of this cafe, she hid in the closet overnight. She caught him kissing the other woman when he opened the door this morning, and then she jumped out to fight him for lying."
"I think we should leave her in jail until lunch this time."
"I'm fine with that." He walked to my door and looked over his shoulder. "Oh, and Damien?"
"Yeah?"
"It pains me to say this, but you no longer complete me."
"Elizabeth will be happy to hear that."
"Ask me why."
"I don't want to know."
"You and your girlfriend were caught on camera this past weekend fucking in my office." He narrowed his eyes at me. "I can't believe you did that."
"I am so sorry."
"You don't look sorry."
I'm not. I smiled, neglecting to mention that I'd promised Elizabeth we'd screw in every place in this firm, and no room or office was up for exception.
"Don't worry," he said, pulling a ring box from his pocket and tossing it to me. I'm not bailing on our friendship, and I already deducted the cost of the intense detox process from your next paycheck."
He slammed the door shut, and I laughed.
* * *
Later that afternoon
"Um…" Our final afternoon interviewee, Mr. Taylor Something-Not-Memorable, stared at us from across the table. "Is this a trick question?"
"No." I slid him two purple coffee mugs, one reading "Hamilton & Associates," and another reading "Carter, Hamilton, & Associates."
"Which one of these looks better to you?" Andrew asked him. "Just be honest."
He swallowed, quickly picking up and setting down the cups like they were seconds away from imploding.
"I think they're both nice," he said. "I choose both."
"A jury can't give a 'not guilty' and guilty verdict at the same time, Taylor." I crossed my arms. "Choose one. Now."
"Uhh…" He wiped a bead of sweat from his brow. "I…I really think they both look nice, so…"
"It should be Hamilton, Carter, & Family," Jessica said. "I feel like that's what we've become over the past year."
"Or," Andrew said, "it can be what I proposed, which is Hamilton, Carter, & Associates."
"I've told you I like it how it is, Andrew," I said. "The less people who come crying to me about what it takes to make partner, the better."
"What about adding Tanner?" Elizabeth's sister suddenly walked by, reminding me that the interviews were in an open area now. "You both said you're amazed with all I've done since I've been hired here."
"Ah, yes," Andrew said. "Let's add the 'almost-cost-us-this-goddamn-firm' lawyer to our name."
"In that case, you could add my name, if you're considering hers." Jessica smiled. "I think that would be quite fitting since I'm the true asset that keeps this place running."
Everyone—even the interviewee—shot her a blank stare.
"You've only had to get me out of jail twice this year," she said. "That shouldn't undo all the hard work I've done."
We said nothing, and I held back on telling her that today made three times.
"Ugh, fine!" She stood up from the table. "I vote for Hamilton & Associates since Mr. Carter doesn't care."
Elle laughed and set an invite on my desk. "Don't forget Gershwin Theater for Elizabeth tonight."
"I would never."
"Um…" Taylor Something-Not-Memorable cleared his throat. "Is my interview over?"
"It was over the moment we saw your suit," Andrew and I spoke in unison. "You can go."
"Now?"
"Right now."
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