Hey First name / friend,
It's hard to believe it's April.
Last month I shared that I found February to be pretty tough on me in a variety of ways. And while I never want to be the downer in the situation, March proved to have it's own challenges, too.
Towards the end of February, I started having panic attacks. Unfortunately, I'm not a stranger to these, but that doesn't make getting them any easier, only that I can recognize them for what they are.
By mid-March, they were hitting me daily and I truly felt like I was going to suffocate in my own skin. They were keeping me up at night, they were a constant thought throughout my day.
And then one day, I'd decided I couldn't keep doing what I was doing. So, I did two things.
- I reached out to the women in my family and I shared that I was struggling. I asked them for prayer. And I trusted them when they said they would be happy to go to the Father on my behalf.
- I also switched the music that plays throughout my day to Worship music only.
It was a Thursday when I reached out for prayer and switched up my music. And as I write this, almost two weeks later, I can tell you that I've yet to have another panic attack.
I was reminded throughout this past month over and over in my mind that the Lord cares for me. He doesn't want me to be crippled with anxiety and worry. He wants me to cast that upon him. I shared last month that we've been in a pretty rough season of life and now that I'm a couple of weeks removed from crippling anxiety, I can see that a lot of the struggles these past couple of months have been from my lack of faith.
Now, do I believe the Lord gave me anxiety? Not a chance. But I believe that if I'd called on his name, changed my internal and external mindset and kept his word in my heart throughout the day that my faith in him would have shifted the way I was responding to these situations.
It doesn't mean that my problems are gone. They aren't. Not a single one of them. But, I don't have to spend my day dwelling and worrying about them. I know the Lord has plans for the good of our family. I must trust in that and it must be enough. Easier said than done, I know.
I have a dear friend that recognizes when I'm in a spiral and the first thing she always tells me is to write a list of praises right then and there. Some days, those praises are small, trivial, and maybe even feel less than noteworthy, but there is still something to be praised in each day.
But, more often than not, those praises are bigger than I realize, and I simply just needed to take the time to recognize them and thank him for them. I encourage you to do the same if you find yourself in a season right now. Or even if you aren't. Writing a list of daily praises truly changes the heart and mind of a believer.
Praying for you all.
Happy April, friends. The tomb was empty. The Lord has risen! SPRING has Sprung! There's much to be praised.