HELLO lovelies and darling misfits. Kat here, and OOOOOOOHHHHH BOOOOOOY I am excited today because I get to write about my favorite poppiest of poppy movies from the past 4 decades. Ok, I'll admit, most of these are from the 80s and 90s, when teen films RULED the box offices, before we had streaming services and teen films turned into watered down sad digital churned out bubbles of forgettable gum stuck under a high school desk. Some films have been purposefully struck from the list because I recently watched them and they were just horribly offensive in every way with zero redeemable qualities. Some of these films have been turned into Broadway musicals. Horror films and parody films have also been omitted from the list because we'd be here forever and I gotta save something for Halloween (The Craft). Ultimately, to make this list, the film has to do two things- 1, be over-the-top in design and plot, and 2, it has to make you feel good. And there will be no Oscar nominated or awarded films on this list, so sorry Barbie, you're JUST TOO GOOD (don't worry, Brendan will have his MOMENT at POP). So let's dive in, because you know I'm obsessed with pop culture. - Clueless- ok, I know what you're thinking, but this film, like, totally deserves to be at the #1 spot. It's a flawless film and it holds up. The FASHION, the SOUNDTRACK, the totally quotable lines! And our heroine has a betty of a character arc and turns into a really well-rounded and caring young adult by the end of the film! Also, she starts dating her older ex-stepbrother. WHAT??? IT'S NOT WEIRD! Moving on… (BTW, this film WRECKED ME and made me the most annoying girl in middle school because you better BELIEVE I constantly quoted this film to anyone who would put up with me, complete with the WHATEVER and LOSER fingers on my forehead. And thanks to Delia's magazine, I also had the look.)
- Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion- another flawless film. The FASHION, the SOUNDTRACK, the iconic DANCE ROUTINE at the end. I particularly love this one because I, too, was unpopular in high school because I was weird and listened to Marilyn Manson and hid out in the art room during lunch and obsessed over the wrong boys. Unlike Romy and Michelle, I did NOT attend my high school reunion because 10000% fuck that.
- The Breakfast Club/ Pretty in Pink- it's a 2-way tie for these John Hughes films, mainly because our teen queen Molly Ringwald is in both. “16 Candles” is pretty offensive and has not aged well, but deserves a mention because it is an iconic film, but let's focus on BC and PP. Both have awesome dance numbers/ montages. Both have exceptional performances by a young cast. Both deal with the horrors of high school and prejudices in class and stereotypes. I HATE how Duckie annoyingly feels entitled to date Andie but I do love his fashion and lip synch. Annie Potts is a gem. I think we all collectively will never forgive what Andie did to her prom dress, but still.
- Heathers- “Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.” This film is almost too dark to be on the list, but it manages to go so deep while also being light, quippy, and cutting. It is pop culture's blueprint for dark comedy. Plus, it stars Christian Slater and he's gotta be on this list somewhere.
- Teen Witch/ Teen Wolf- OHHHHH THESE FILMS. THIS IS PERFECT AND PURE 80s CHEESE. A MAGICAL RAP BATTLE. A MONTAGE OF MICHAEL J. FOX AS A WOLF PLAYING BASKETBALL AND EVERYONE IS FINE WITH IT BECAUSE THE TEAM IS WINNING. Zelda Rubenstein. Lowkey, Teen Wolf encouraged my brothers and I to ride ON TOP of my mom's station wagon while she drove us around the neighborhood. The 80s were a wild time to be a kid.
- Ferris Bueller's Day Off- I don't even know how many times I've seen this film. It's one of my mom's favorites so we watched it a LOT growing up. It's got the fashion, the music, the montages, the kid hacking the school system with COMPUTERS, mannequin fake-outs, dad issues, Jennifer Gray, bimbo singing telegrams, principals hell-bent on ruining students' lives, extremely quotable quotes, and Ferrari joyrides that end in tragedy. This film is one giant eff you to authority, and I eat it up every time. You're still here? Well, then, let's keep going with the list.
- Mean Girls- Ohhhhhh we all knew a Regina George, and yes, she is a FUGLY SLUT. This movie has been parodied, worshipped, and turned into a hit musical and then got a movie remake of the musical where the trailers weirdly hid that it's a musical BECAUSE FILM STUDIOS ARE TERRIFIED TO TAKE ANY KIND OF RISKS. Ok, I'm gonna go off on a tangent because it's a Wednesday and no one wants to be at work so let me distract you for a little bit longer. Thank GOODNESS for A24, because it feels like it is the ONLY filmhouse that is taking any kind of risks. I just went to see “Love Lies Bleeding” this past weekend and it was SO MUCH FUN and so horrifying and funny and gay and shocking and smokey and 80s and graphic and violent and wonderful and weird and WE NEED MORE FILMS LIKE THIS. I mean, look at some of the films from their list: Lady Bird, Moonlight, Minari, The Farewell, Past Lives (still sobbing), Talk to Me, EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (which would be on this list but it's just TOO good), X and Pearl, The Zone of Interest, Uncut Gems, Good Time, The Ligthhouse, The Witch, HEREDITARY, MIDSOMMAR, Bodies Bodies Bodies, Spring Breakers…….We need to stop with the remakes and the Marvel films. Aren't y'all tired? I'm so tired. I just wanna watch weird shit. Thankfully there is a PLETHORA of 80s B horror films that I'm watching, thanks to Peaches Christ's recommendations from her extremely enjoyable podcast MIDNIGHT MASS. Ok, back to the list.
- Mallrats- Kevin Smith might be a little too subdued to make the list, but Mallrats is also a cult classic that captures 90s mall culture that (thanks to Amazon and the internet) has pretty much died, and it has plenty of slap-stickery and silliness to be POP certified. You've got Jay and Silent Bob. You've got a cameo by Stan Lee with super hero antics. You've got a weird fortuneteller who eats her 3rd nipple. You've got a DISGUSTING scene with chocolate-covered pretzels that has ruined the snack for me to this day. You've got the fucking Magic Eye artwork that championed the OTHER way you can go cross-eyed. And you've got a wedding on the Jaws ride at Universal Studios, accompanied by Weezer. Snoochie boochies.
- Bring it On- This movie is SOLID, plus it has Buffy royalty Eliza Dushku and Clare Kramer (the BEST villain of Buffy). You might be wondering why movies like “Can't Hardly Wait” were left off the list, and while I enjoyed them growing up, I feel like if I have to narrow it down, Bring it On holds up and still gets talked about because it has so many CHEER BATTLES, OH MY GOD. My favorite quote from this film isn't even in this film. “Bring it on! Oh, it's already been BROUGHTEN!" is from “Not Another Teen Movie”. Side note: I tried out for cheerleading in middle school. All my friends made the squad except for me. It was hell and I was very bitter about it. But I still love this movie.
- Once Bitten/ Mannequin: On the Move- Both of these movies are absolute hot salty garbage in the most wonderful way possible. I've probably only seen “Once Bitten” because I had a massive crush on Jim Carrey in grade school and sought out all of his films, including this insane campy gem with Lauren Hutton. Most of this film is forgettable and the plot is very 80s (where are we gonna find a teenage boy virgin to keep an aging vampire young????) but OH MY GOD it easily has one of THE BEST dance scenes and shows off how crazy multi-talented Jim Carrey is. Mannequin 2 is a dumpster fire, but the premise is VERY POP and it gave us the incredible gift of a character that is HOLLYWOOD MONTROSE. Anyway, please watch Jim Carrey dance.
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I kinda sorta narrowed it down to 10 with a little bit of cheating. But this is the vibe for POP. We want you to feel like you're IN one of these films- an over-the-top weird campy explosion of glitter with incredibly fun performances by an all-new cast, Double Dare style audience games, brand new earworms by yours truly- all set to a FANTASTIC soundtrack. Ok, I'm going back to constructing costumes for the show. I can't wait to share POP with you. I think it miiiiiiight be the most fun show we've ever done. I hope you all leave with sore faces from smiling all night. xo, Kat |
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