The Foreword has been on hiatus for a long time now, with a few stops and starts in between. And while there are lots of reasons for this: a pandemic, a baby, marriages, life, European summers.
It also has a lot to do with fear.
I’ve been intimately acquainted with my fear of failure for as long as I’ve been sentient, but it’s taken me way longer (33 years!) to realise I’m also scared of success.
The Foreword was birthed during the first Covid lockdown out of a need to create something positive for ourselves when the world was upside down. It was more successful than we had both hoped and at a much faster rate than we were prepared for, which was exciting but also, to be honest, scary.
When the world opened up again, it felt easy to hit pause and avoid thinking about what the future looked like for a project that had already seen success, but also had so much more potential.
Naturally, Arabella and I can see the irony in starting something from a place of anxiety and fear of failure only to let a different kind of fear halt the project entirely. But yknow, feelings! They’re a lot.
There’s so much research around the fear of success, which can be more diabolical than its counterpart, the fear of failure. Being scared of succeeding is also tied up with our old friends Imposter Syndrome, Tall Poppy Syndrome, shyness, gender, perfectionism, self-esteem etc.
I know why success is scary: It's uncomfortable, and so much of it requires getting out of your comfort zone (terrifying) and wearing your heart on your sleeve (more terrifying).
It’s also much easier to avoid those feelings and just literally do anything else, especially when this fear stems from a lack of confidence and a healthy dose of perfectionism.
The point is, here we are: older, definitely wiser, more willing than ever to say, ‘Hi, this is something we believe in,’ and we’re so glad you’re here, too.
Success or not, The Foreword is back.
– Lilith x
