As the season unfolds, I invite you to explore mindfulness and presence in your recovery and discover how this accessible practice can enhance not only your journey toward healing, but your life's journey. Please note that this edition is a bit more comprehensive, so I invite you to take your time with it, perhaps in a quiet moment with a warm beverage, as we explore this transformative practice together.
Mindfulness, often misunderstood as a complex, time-consuming ritual, is truly about simple, everyday moments of presence and awareness, accessible to all. It is also a tool that can support our relationship with physical pain and discomfort, often associated with an increase of nutrition and exposure to various foods that were once deemed “off limits”. This practice can replace maladaptive and harmful behaviors used to “alleviate” or “avoid” discomfort, offering a pathway to peace and resilience.
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is the gentle art of intentionally focusing on the present moment, observing our thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations without judgment. Being fully present helps to acknowledge our current experiences with openness and curiosity and allows us to respond to life's challenges with clarity and compassion.
Mindfulness in the Face of Discomfort
While practicing mindfulness may not completely eliminate pain or discomfort, it can change our relationship with these experiences. By observing physical sensations without judgment, we can gain insights into our responses and discover ways to navigate discomfort with greater ease.
“Story Follows State”
Our internal narrative is shaped by our physiological state, a concept explained by the phrase “story follows state” and underpinned by polyvagal theory, proposed by Dr. Stephen Porges. Mindfulness can influence our autonomic nervous system, shifting us from a physical state of stress to one of calm, thereby changing the stories we tell ourselves about our pain or discomfort. Click the button to watch a quick video that explains polyvagal theory.
Picture a moment where you've eaten more than you are used to, leading to feelings of fullness, bloating, and discomfort. These sensations might naturally trigger thoughts like,
“This is too much! My body can't handle this! This food is bad for my body!”
These thoughts are narratives we construct in response to our physical state.
Now, let's shift to a mindfulness perspective. Imagine the same scenario: you've eaten more than you are used to, or something you perceive as ‘bad’ and you feel full, bloated, and uncomfortable or even painful. In this approach, you acknowledge these sensations without judgment. You might say to yourself,
“I'm noticing that I feel very full and uncomfortable. It's understandable, given I am not used to this. It's okay to feel this way, and these sensations will pass (or subside). My body is trying to heal, and healing is often uncomfortable.”
Recognize how this narrative offers a more compassionate and accepting perspective?
I understand this doesn't magically remove the discomfort. However, the next step is to engage in practices that help you manage and sit with the discomfort…more comfortably by helping you to self-regulate as you move from a state of fight/flight to calmness and safety. Below are some ways you might ground yourself:
This exercise can be repeated whenever you need to realign your narrative with a more supportive and mindful state. By doing this, you're not only addressing the immediate discomfort but also training your mind to adapt a more accepting and less reactive stance over time.
Actions Follow States and Stories
(Sensations & Thoughts)
In response to our physical and emotional states, we often take actions that are directly influenced by the narratives we tell ourselves. For instance, in the scenario where physical fullness leads to discomfort or pain, you might feel compelled to react in ways that align with your initial panic-stricken narrative; perhaps by attempting to eliminate the discomfort through unhealthy means, deciding to skip future meals, purging in some way, or scouring the internet for quick fixes that validate your fears.
However, embracing a mindful approach shifts this dynamic. Instead of reacting impulsively based on your initial story ("This is too much! I need to fix this!"), mindfulness encourages you to engage in actions that soothe and stabilize your nervous system. Click the button to watch a short video about mindfulness.
Instead of a storyline that rushes you into counterproductive actions, you adopt a narrative of understanding and patience. You acknowledge your discomfort while reminding yourself that it's temporary and manageable.
Purposeful Calm
Rather than taking immediate, often drastic actions, you choose to engage in deliberate practices that calm your nervous system. Focused breathing is a prime example. By attentively tuning into your breath, you help shift your body out of fight-or-flight response and into a state of rest and digest, which is more conducive to healing and rational thinking.
Informed Choices
From this calmer, more centered state, the actions you choose are more likely to be in alignment with your long-term well-being. Instead of looking for external validation or quick fixes, you turn inward, trusting in your body's wisdom in the process of recovery.
By recognizing the link between your physiological state, the stories you tell yourself, and the actions you take, you gain the power to choose responses that support your healing and growth. This mindful approach not only addresses the immediate discomfort but also fosters a healthier relationship with yourself over time.
Expanding the Window of Tolerance
Consistent mindfulness practice can widen our ‘window of tolerance’, a term coined by Dr. Dan Siegel, which is the range within which we can effectively manage stress without becoming overwhelmed. This expanded tolerance can be particularly beneficial for those experiencing chronic pain or discomfort, enhancing their capacity to cope with these sensations. Click the button to watch a quick video that explains the window of tolerance.
While mindfulness is invaluable in navigating discomfort and distress, its true power lies in its regular, everyday application. Integrating mindfulness into routine activities not only enhances the quality of our daily experiences but also strengthens our mindfulness ‘muscle’, making it more accessible when we most need it. Here are simple ways to weave mindfulness into your day:
By introducing mindfulness into daily activities, we cultivate a pervasive sense of awareness that benefits us in every aspect of our lives, grounding us in the present and enhancing our capacity for joy and resilience.
In closing,
I encourage you to embrace each day mindfully, not just as a step toward healing, but as a way to live our finite lives more richly and completely. Mindfulness anchors us in the present, where life truly unfolds, allowing us to experience the fullness of our existence in each breath. Eckhart Tolle beautifully captured this essence when he said, “Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make NOW the primary focus of your life.”
don't let the worries of tomorrow or the regrets of yesterday steal away your gift of the present.
