I feel like I'm writing to you from another planet. One that I hope we are both on, but it feels verrrry different from the one I was on this time last year, last month even! It feels like the veil is thin again, like worlds are crossing over, like timelines are overlapping. Whether it was eclipse magic or we are finally making enough individual changes that it is affecting the collective, there's a new kind of movement happening. Accessibility to information has reached a critical mass for the receptors we are naturally given, not just in the forms of media and institution but in our own perception and proprioception. With heightened sensitivity comes the need for more intentional engagement and action. And while there will always be places where we—individually and collectively—can grow, I am noticing a distinct “leveling up” in so many individuals that is shifting the energy in group spaces.  

 

Many of us had a rocky first three months of this year; unpredictable energy challenged our patience and resolve to move at our own pace. For those who did not experience this tension, we were witness to it all around, carefully minding what we could and practicing more gratitude than fear. And then recently, the eclipse brought all kinds of shadow to the light; closings and deaths seemed to happen out of nowhere, almost as if from another place or time, coming in and cutting a ribbon we held among many. And perhaps, if this happened to you, it was a surprise. Perhaps, you knew somewhere deep within that this shift was on its way. Individually, we’re coming up against growth edges that are asking us to reassess our personal approach. And this will inevitably change the climate of the collective. It’s not happening at the same pace or at the same time for everyone; each of us coming from our own unique combinations of experience. We’re all growing up, and that doesn’t always mean we’re meeting at the same place. 

 

I use the example of a playground a lot with clients when discussing how shifting our perspective—an integral part of personal growth and deconditioning—can affect our relationships. As we practice new ways of relating to ourselves and others, as we change and grow, sometimes we find that we are no longer playing in the same part of the playground as our familiars. It’s not that one is better or worse, everyone is entitled to their own process. But it’s going to be hard to play the same games on the monkey bars as we did on the slide or in the sandbox. Wherever you are finding yourself on the playground, I hope you are finding an authenticity with yourself there. I hope you are giving yourself the opportunity to really learn what you like about that structure or space, and what you can learn there. And, it’s okay to recognize that those you relate to, or the stranger of consequence who just crossed your path, may not be in the same place as you. What we learn from others is our prerogative, but I see more folks these days moving a little more gently, and sure, it could be the sun staying out a little longer, shining a little brighter. At least it is so when I see clients in my office, or interacting with strangers in the grocery store and at the park. 

 

With greater self-awareness comes deeper compassion and the deeper our compassion for the self, the more it becomes externalized in how we relate to others. Early into the journey of self-discovery and self-work, we become aware of the parts of us that have unmet needs. This is usually the first room we enter in the mansion of self. They are the young parts crying and throwing fits and needing comfort and care through establishing boundaries and staking claims. In doing such, we can experience a feeling of incredible empowerment. It can be very comfortable to stay right there without further examination. But then, we cannot truly say we are “doing the work” for it is a continuous process and practice of interrogation, even of the things that feel good. Because as we begin to have new experiences through setting boundaries or staking claims of self, there is new information now to be assessed, to be integrated. 

 

 

I love using the example of a playground as well because it reminds us that living, while often challenging, is also playful, fun, pleasurable. Over the weekend, the sun moved into the sign of Taurus and the energy of pleasure and delight will be seeping into the corners of our rooms, like sunlight from a new angle warming leaves yet to be unfurled. 

 

Tonight’s Full Moon in Scorpio—peaking at 4:48pm PT—marks the halfway point of this lunation, which started on the 8th with the New Moon and Solar Eclipse in Aries. This particular lunation straddles Aries and Taurus sun seasons, as if to create an emotional bridge between the fiery and initiatory energy of the former and the grounded, deeply committed resonance of the latter. Of the initiations we encountered through the eclipse, we are now offered a light into the dark depths of that which is changing for us, with us. A full moon in Scorpio can put the spotlight on the taboo, our shadow, sex, death, and the deep cuts. Addictions and old habits of comfort may rear their heads at this opportunity, especially if the changes brought on by the eclipse caused significant discomfort, and the temptation to compensate with pleasure is one to be mindful of. However this moon will be square Pluto in Aquarius, which creates a friction, a need for emotional and expressive transformation. Without compassion (for ourselves or others) this can easily translate into a stubbornness to let go. Being fixed signs, both Taurus and Scorpio have a penchant for holding onto things. 

 

We are in luck with Jupiter and Uranus conjunct since Saturday offering a sense of optimism, an inspiration for change and expansion. And Mars currently sextile this conjunction puts a little more oomph behind the ideas and intentions, motivating us into progressive action. We may experience windfalls of relief from recent challenges, or a spiritual glow-up. Moving the body can help to channel this energy, even just a walk in the fresh spring air could inspire a solution to a long-standing problem or bring about a new idea where your creativity has been flatlining. 

 

So if you are noticing some extra friction or pressure over this full moon, instead of hanging on or leaning into old patterns of “fixing”, allow yourself a new kind of pleasure that maybe you’ve been eyeing for some time now. Being with what isn’t working can be as simple as having a mug of tea in the afternoon with the flowers from your lover dying in beautiful saturated yellows and browns in the vase. Allowing a new kind of pleasure can be saying “Look at the time! I’ve got to go!” just so that you can have a few moments of quiet in your car before the next task. We’re in a season to build new routines, explore new rituals. Move slowly. Take your time. 

 

There was a recent article about the negative effects of urgency culture in National Geographic, which is not to say that there are not exigent issues in the world and in our local communities—but to be consistently in a sympathetic (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) nervous system state will burn out the neural pathways for capacity and for action, leading to a decreased ability to problem solve or think critically, heightened cortisol levels in the body, and a propensity for depression and illness. It is our responsibility as individuals to prioritize our energy and attention as the cornerstones of our wellbeing, so that we are balanced in a way that allows us to fulfill our unique expression for ourselves and the collective. 

 

Perhaps this is the season you take control of your relationship with social media; limiting scroll time and instead subscribing to an email list of news or sources that you follow, so that you can check into things at your own pace. Perhaps your inbox is overloaded and you’d like to refine your input sources entirely. Perhaps you feel paralyzed by the number of options or calls to action, so you find one that you can commit to with delight and enthusiasm for the next six months or so. Humans are emotional creatures and we often (even unwittingly) manipulate our own emotions and those of others to grab attention and motivate action. And we jump from one emotional high (“good” or “bad”) to another. But emotions are only passing energy, and cannot solely sustain us singularly or in a movement. True investment requires more than our emotions and it is an asset deeply tied to our values. The direction of a collective will change when its individuals align with one another, with movements and actions, through shared values. No, you do not have to do it all. But you can, I promise you can, always do something for yourself and in turn for others. 

 

 

The April Full Moon is referred to as the Pink Moon or the Egg Moon in American indigenous and European folk culture. So named for being a season of potential new life and for the blooming wild ground phlox that heralds the visible return of spring. The color pink is often associated with the intimate parts of the body, and isn’t it such a brazen reflection to see flowers blooming in colors that also exist of our own fruiting bodies. The Pink Moon can be a time to celebrate or practice gratitude for what has been conceived; even amidst endings and death is the inherent beginnings of what will come next. From the buds on the trees to the groundwork for new projects, prospects and promises can be magical spells of motivation on their own. No, we don’t yet know how things will turn out. But the possibilities are there.