Dear grace-girl,
Welcome to the second installment of
Parenting in Grace!
Last week, we kicked off our email series about family culture. You voted on
Instagram that you wanted to talk about creating a healthy culture for your people, so here we are!
Y'all know I love to start with definitions so we're all on the same page. What do we mean when we say “family culture," like, what is that exactly?
Here's how Family Culture Coach Kimberly Amici defined it in
Episode 71 of
Grace In Real Life: “Culture includes the way you work and act together. It includes the way you solve problems. It includes the language that you use…
How my kids feel but then how their friends feel when they come to my house, that's all about culture and that's all rooted in our family's values, what's important to us, and what kind of experience we want for people.”
A Jesus-centered family culture is intentional about pointing its members to the Lord even as marching band, hockey, baseball, and gymnastics are on the docket.
Humans didn't create the concept of family culture, God did, and He gives us the grace-gift of discovering what our family culture is. When in doubt and when we start, it's always best to see how God's doing things. What does culture look like in God's kingdom for God's kids? Well, let's take a look!
Who we are as kids in God's family
- Lavished with God's love (1 John 3:1)
- A source of delight to the Lord (Zephaniah 3:17)
- Masterpieces of God's workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)
- A chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation (1 Peter 2:9)
What we do as a family
- Love one another (John 13:34-35)
- Encourage each other (Hebrews 10:24-25)
- Teach and admonish and sing (Colossians 3:16)
- Use our gifts and grow the body in love (Ephesians 4:16)
What we value as a family
- Unity (1 Corinthians 12:13)
- Obedience to the Lord (John 14:21)
- Loving others (John 13:35)
- Reconciling with others just as we are reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5:18)
Clearly, these lists are not exhaustive, AND also, they give us a framework by which we can start to create a healthy culture for our family.
Sooooo… how do we do this with the family we live with? How do we continually point our people back to Jesus? What does it look like to teach and admonish and praise when we're going a million miles an hour? What does a healthy family culture look like in the craziness of May?
Friend, I promise that you're going to want to listen to every minute of
Grace In Real Life Episode 71 with Family Culture Coach Kimberly Amici, but if you don't have 53 minutes right now, let me give you two practicals that Kimberly shared that you can implement today:
Identify what you're already doing well.
What do you currently love about your family's routines, rhythms, “vibe,” and/or personality? What is it that you're crushing these days? Maybe it's that you're intentional about praying for your kids out loud as you drive them to school. Maybe y'all set aside time to have fun and laugh and play. Maybe your family excels at celebrating achievements big and small.
Honor what your kids have to say + ask questions.
The easiest thing in the world is to assume we know what our kids are going through OR to dismiss their needs, concerns, and preferences. But in my life, I've found that listening with open ears (and an open heart!) to what's rumbling in their hearts, what they prefer, what they need from me, or why they're frustrated with me takes guts… and it's a sure-fire way to build a Jesus-centered family culture!
