A sexual ethic is the way in which you make sexual choices that are best for you. Here are the three categories I get clear on to establish my personal sexual ethic:
1. Sex education - In order to make decisions about your sex life, you have to have accurate information. Sex Ed is imperative for true informed consent and empowered decision making.
2. Sexual values - Your culture, (like religion, family and heritage/ tradition) and personal preferences help dictate your value system. For example, the three things in MY value system which MUST be present when I have sex are:
1. Consent
2. Monogamy
3. Pleasure
But that's just me. You may have more or less in your value system. (HINT: The only thing that must be in this category is consent.)
3. Intuition - Your intuition is how your body/ brain feel in a moment. (HINT: Religion often encourages us to ignore our intuition when it comes to sex.)
These three sex ethics buckets are how you make choices within your sex life. You must check in with all three. Your intuition could be saying YES, your sex values are all a YES, but if your sex education says NO because you can't engage in the behavior safely, it's going to be a NO to that behavior. (e.g. you don't have condoms at the moment).
Another example is when sex education is a YES (you know how to do the behavior safely and consensually), your values are a YES (it aligns with your personal value system), but intuition is a NO because your body doesn't feel available to the sexual behavior.
This process of filling in your sex ethics buckets can be daunting, but I encourage you to begin with sex education. It's incredibly helpful for figuring out what' in the other two.
With pleasure,
~ Celeste
