I was talking with my kids the other day about maybe wanting to get a tattoo. Two of my friends recently got ones that I think are just so beautiful. I don’t even have a second piercing (Eleanor does!), I hate needles and honestly, this desire has even taken me by surprise. Let’s be honest… I probably won’t do it. But when they asked what I would get I immediately knew. 

 

For the last 4 years I have annually read through the Bible. There are tons of reading plans out there, and so many resources to support this feat, but I have fallen in love with the M’Cheyne reading plan. Every day it puts me in 4 different places in scripture so that I’m balancing Old Testament with New. I cannot recommend it enough, and if you want to jump in with me I would LOVE to read with you! 

 

Anywho, the past 12 months have been really trying on the Rectors. Knowing the fact that I am an oversharer, I will probably overshare in weeks to come. But last year, we picked up our life in Coppell, Texas after 13 years and moved to Dallas… yep, only about 30 minutes away. If you think about it, it's almost easier to do a real move, like across the country, than show up somewhere 30 minutes away and be new, but not new. It has really been so sweet in so many ways, but has really challenged and tried us, too. 

 

At the same time, this meant that BJ was going to roll off staff at the only church we have ever attended as a family - one that we never dreamed we would leave - until we picked up and moved out of town. New city, new house, new needs…. Good thing I know an unchanging God. I continue to need Him every moment in this scary season. 

 

You know what else I am so thankful for in Scripture? The fact that the book of Psalms is full of every single emotion crying out to God either praising Him, questioning Him, begging Him to intervene…. Well, it has been such comfort to know that I have all the freedom to approach Him the same way - He even loves me to come and can handle whatever I bring. And boy have I brought it. Still am… reminding Him what He has promised, asking for more faith to trust Him and trying to consider all joy even in the midst of our painful circumstances.

Enter Psalm 73.23-26…. This is what I would want to tattoo. Either the reference, or an inspired small art from these words that have instilled my confidence in the One I’m placing all cares on.

 

He holds my right hand. How can He do that if He’s not so very intimately acquainted with my circumstances? I consider when I cross the street with my kids… I hold their hands to guide, protect and comfort them. I consider when I’m holding BJ’s hand… I hold it because I love him and our relationship draws us close. Thank you, Jesus, for holding mine.

 

He guides me with His counsel. Like I said, I can’t express what a blessing it has been to be immersed in the entire Bible for the last 4 years. Where would I be without it? I’m already spiraling and anxious…. But I find peace, hope and purpose with this precious book that guides me - it gives me counsel and wisdom in the big and small.

 

There is nothing on earth that I desire besides Him. Um…. well, yes there is. But what a prayer to pray! To not want anything that this world can offer more than wanting a relationship with the Creator of it all - sounds impossible, unrealistic and potentially crazy - but the psalmist in this writing claims this stance… so, I pray for that posture.

 

God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. If I am His, I have all I need. Come what may, He will be what gives me strength, and in Him I have everything. Again, I am praying this every day. When I am so weak, He is my strength. When I feel like I am running on empty, He is my portion. 

I want it tattooed because it is my heart's cry that I would live, believe and worship from this conviction. I want Jesus to have my entire heart, and I want to trust Him in my daily life with the same confidence I trust Him with my eternity. 

Again, I probably won't get the tattoo… but I might.

 

Maybe reading the entire Bible seems daunting right now… another resource that I have loved over the years is my Cultivate What Matters “Write the Word” journal. You literally write the passage for the day and then journal a response. They have them for cultivating hope, joy, peace, courage, fighting anxiety…. All filled with scriptures that will give you prayers to pray. 

Maybe reading through the Bible sounds like a challenge you’d like to take. Again, let me know - I’d love to do it with you! I love the M’Cheyne, but I have so many friends that have found The Bible Recap chronological plan to be so good for them - every day the reading is accompanied by a short podcast explaining what you just read. Brilliant. My encouragement is this… whether you’ve known Jesus forever, know of Him or honestly wondering how you made it to the end of my words because you have never had any interest… today can be the day to start somewhere. If you are even remotely curious, I’d love to chat about it.

I don’t know what the rest of this season will look like for the Rectors… honestly, I’m really ready to be out of what seems like the desert. But, He has never failed us, even here. He has met our every need and become my present help in my pain. Turns out, as painful as this season has been, I don't want to leave this place until I am fully convinced that