We hear one word more than any other in our coaching session, on Instagram, or just in conversation with women on mission:

 

 

It's become sort of a catch-all word, like "I'm fine," or "Good but busy." Just something we say when we're hitting resistance in our calling.

 

But it's hard to move through sticky feelings to the place we want to be when we don't know where we're starting.

 

If you're feeling stuck today, here are four coaching questions we love to ask to help us name what's true and make a plan to move forward.

01. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

If you truly do not know what you want in this season, it's time to access desire. A better word for stuck for you might be "lacking vision." We can dive deeper into accessing desire and partnering with God for His vision for you.

 

If you do know what you want but keep coming up with excuses as to why you can't take that step, the word you're looking for is "afraid." That's okay. You're safe to be scared. But we've got some truth to speak to fear — step one is getting honest about what's frightening.

 

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02. What's in your way?

You might be surprised to know that the number one reason we see women NOT step into writing a book is because they don't know how they should get an agent or a publisher. That's like step 15 of a very long process, and they'll refuse to start on Step 1 because of what they don't know in the future.

 

Write down what's in your way, and then put that concern in it's right place in the process. When we don't know what we don't know, what we feel is "overwhelmed." Seeing it all down on paper can help you take the steps you know you can take, and also ask for appropriate help where you need it.

 

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03. What do you believe?

In our coaching licensing training, we encourage our coaches to start sessions with a few questions aimed at gauging expectations and getting our thoughts on paper. We like to say that you might not always get what you want, but you always get what you expect.

 

When you're feeling stuck, we encourage you to take inventory of what you're speaking over yourself. What do you believe about yourself, your future, your God and His power in and through you? If you're under the weight of lots of death-talk, your better word for stuck might be "defeated." 

 

We'll be real with you: This a hard place to be. "Defeated" might also feel like hopeless, depressed, or apathetic. Your next step might not be to run on mission, but to start a tender walk back to wholeness and joy. 

 

This is strength, this is holy, this is the calling. You're in the right place.

 

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04. WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

Those beliefs that you got on paper, or that process you mapped out that's keeping you paralyzed? It's great to inquire: Who told you that? Are they trust worthy? Are you working to please those people, or please God? Do those words or that process sound like your good Father who loves you?

 

If a specific person comes to mind every time you think about stepping out in faith, and you're feeling stuck by what they might think about you, the word you're looking for is "people-pleasing." 

 

Our culture might play nice with this term and practice, but we don't. We know the weight of the chains of worshipping the perceptions of others, and we long for freedom for you. It's time to speak truth from your trustworthy God over yourself, and take steps in HIS name, not anyone else's.

 

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