Last week was a bit wobbly.

My son and I were in a car accident which didn’t hurt either of us but pretty well totaled our family van. The next day, my husband got Covid. Then both kids got colds (weirdly, not Covid), and I, who have a medically suppressed immune system and just got over a 3-month respiratory thing, wondered if I would also join the ranks of the infirm. A couple days later, my neck started hurting, and then it really started hurting, and it turns out the wreck caused a slipped disc and nerve impingement on top of my regular chronic spine pain. That turned into a days-long migraine that put me way behind in work, and well—that was last week!

 

If this had happened ten years ago, the prospect of totaling a vehicle, having an injury, caring for a sick family and getting behind on deadlines right before a long-planned vacation would have made me almost ill with worry. Just the worry of one of those events would have robbed me of peace and sleep. Not only would I have made myself sick with anxious “what if” thoughts, I also would have tried to plan for every possible catastrophe that could happen. I’d have Googled until my fingers ached. I would have made lists until I had an ulcer. I would have drawn others into my worries.

 

I also would have called this wisdom.

 

I have to tell you (and I have the counseling session receipts to prove it), this is a really unhealthy way to live. It is also deeply mistrustful of the Lord’s care for us. Wisdom, I’ve learned in the last ten years, is not found in or grown from frenzied catastrophizing. Wisdom is found at the intersection of trust in God’s faithfulness and wise preparedness. Wisdom doesn’t lie awake all night hedging her bets in case everything falls apart. Wisdom understands that the Lord is both sovereign and good, and we can trust Him with both the big and little catastrophes of life.  

 

Proverbs, of course, is the Bible’s book on wisdom, but all of Scripture teaches us how to live with wisdom as a necklace rather than a noose (see Prov. 1:9). James tells us to ask God for wisdom and to trust Him. Proverbs tells us to treasure wisdom like a beloved wife. The psalms tell us to hold God’s Word in high esteem so that we will learn discernment. You can see wisdom—and the lack thereof—in the lives of the people of the Bible, and you can see wisdom personified in Christ.

 

One of the key features of wisdom is that it doesn’t fear the future. Proverbs 1:33, quoting Lady Wisdom, says that “whoever listens to [wisdom] will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster.” Proverbs 31 says that the woman who fears the Lord laughs at the days to come (31:25). After a year-long study of the book of Proverbs, I found that this chapter describes not only a woman who fears the Lord but Lady Wisdom herself, who is repeatedly personified throughout the book. Either way, a wise person does not fear the future. Why? Because a wise person fears the Lord instead.

 

That’s the other notable feature of wisdom: it is rooted in fear of the Lord. Even if you know very little about Proverbs, you probably know that “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” But this kind of fear differs from the worry we have about the uncontrollable and potentially disastrous future. We fear God by understanding His character through His revealed Word. In other words, we look at Him rather than at our circumstances, and that brings us true wisdom. When we know who He is, we see how safe we are in Him. 

 

How does any of this relate to worrying and fretting about present or imaginary trials? None of the passages I’ve mentioned promise a trouble-free existence for the wise person. No, in fact in the New Testament, we are constantly reminded that to follow Christ means suffering, persecution, and troubles. But what Scripture also promises is that we can have joy and peace in our trials when we fear the Lord. Psalm 25 says the soul of the one fears the Lord will “abide in well-being” (Ps.25:13). It’s not that the external circumstances offer “well-being.” Rather, well-being is where the soul lives. And the soul is where fear, worry, and anxiety do the most damage—in the interior life of the person.

 

Over the last ten years, God’s Word has become my deepest delight. I have tasted and seen that it is very, very good, and as I’ve spent many years combing Scripture for truths about God’s character, my struggle with fear and worry and anxiety has diminished to nearly nothing. The antidote to my worry was the fear of the Lord. The more I learned about Him and His faithfulness, power, sovereignty, goodness, holiness, and justice, the more I was able to trust Him in even the most worrisome of scenarios. Less panic, more peace. My interior life began to change, and I found that my soul abided in well-being when I made a study of God's character. 

 

It takes time to grow in any area, but I firmly believe that God will do the work through His Word. I was not tempted last week to walk my old haunts of fear and worry, for God’s Word has left too big an imprint on my heart to allow for that. While I long to grow into a person of true, biblical wisdom, I now know that this happens through sanctification, not catastrophizing. The bigger God grows in my estimation, the smaller my worries. That’s what God’s Word does for you—puts things in their rightful place.

 

If you struggle with worry and fear and catastrophizing about the future, I hope you’ll open your Bible and seek to answer one question every single day as you read: What do I learn about God? Whatever you learn, write it down. Fill up a notebook and then another and another. One day, you’ll realize the Word has done the work and you can laugh at the days to come because you know who holds them in His hands. Wisdom will be your necklace, you’ll see how the Lord has carried you, and you'll know He always will. 

In L.M. Montgomery's beloved book, Anne of Green Gables, Anne Shirley was known for saying that taking care of twins was her lot in life. An orphan who was moved from home to home and forced to babysit around the clock for large families, Anne always seemed to get stuck working for families with multiple sets of twins. She felt doomed to repeat history until someone changed her path. 

 

We all have that thing in our lives that we believe to be “our lot.” For me, waiting has always been the thing. Anyone who has experienced infertility like I have can relate, I'm sure. For my husband and me, our infertility was never resolved. Though adoption was how we grew our family, we still tried to have a baby for twenty years until my age became the hinge that closed the door for good. Infertility isn't the only thing I've had to wait for, though. No, I've got an incurable disease that causes daily pain, and I'll live with it for the rest of my life. I've watched my husband wait for fruitful years of ministry as a pastor after many years of turmoil. It took nineteen years of waiting before our ministry began to blossom. 

 

It's not just us. Everyone waits. For a spouse, for children, a job, provision, reconciliation, answers, a diagnosis, for friendship, vindication, a wayward child. We all wait. And so much of the time, we're frustrated by waiting. We feel helpless and out of control, which leads to anger and anxiety. So, when this book by Mark Vroegop arrived on my doorstep a few weeks ago, I knew it would (to use a Tim Keller phrase) rub healing into an old wound in my heart. 

 

Waiting Isn't a Waste is one of the better books I've read recently, and oh, how I wish it had existed during my early years of infertility! What hit me from the very first pages is the way the author connects the Christian life with waiting. They hold hands: “Waiting isn't a supplemental experience of the Christian life. It's central. Following Jesus involves a lot of waiting.” He goes on to show all the ways that the gaps in life are opportunities to grow in Christ and to fix your eyes on Him rather than your circumstances. Whatever you're waiting for, life doesn't have to be on hold until you get it. Rather, the gap in life you're waiting through is the very means by which God will shape your faith and teach you to hold fast to Him. (Waiting and worrying have a lot in common that way!)

 

I can't recommend this book enough! I asked the author, Mark Vroegop, to share a few words with you about why he wrote this book and what he hopes it will do for readers. 

 

Here's what he had to say:

I’ll admit it. I don’t like to wait.

 

“Does anyone?” you might ask. You’re probably right, especially in our fast-paced society filled with immediate app notifications and financial incentives for restaurants and retail stores to shorten wait times. A disdain for any delay appears normal—even encouraged.

 

However, my struggle with waiting seems hardwired in me. My personality tends toward getting things done, and I love the feeling of a completed to-do list. I need to get better at waiting.

 

Waiting Isn't a Waste seeks to learn how to live on what we know to be true about God when we don’t know what’s true about our lives. Waiting on God means leaning on Christ while we wait for the uncertainties of life to unfold.

Throughout our lives, we experience countless periods of waiting. Some moments are mere nuisances—others are daunting seasons filled with intense worry and doubt. We grow impatient by immovable traffic or crave an impending answer to a medical condition.

 

The book explores 6 characteristics—waiting is hard, common, biblical, slow, commanded, and relational. It seeks to inspire readers to embrace waiting—for it prompts wisdom from God and brings invaluable peace to the present.

All of the songs below have been compiled in this playlist and are listed at the bottom of the playlist.

More than a decade ago, I tried hosting a women's Bible study in my home. I made announcements at church, bought books, studied and prepared, and opened my front door. And routinely, no one came. I sat week after week with my front door open, a fresh pot of coffee and a plate of cookies on the table, and I waited. It was incredibly disheartening.

 

So, I waited a while before trying a different approach. Mind you, this was well before the pandemic, but I thought I'd harness the power of the internet and host the study online. I created a Facebook group, added all the women from church to it, and filmed myself teaching. Then I posted the video and had them answer questions in the comments. It worked for two weeks. And then it failed.

Demoralized, I shut it down and decided maybe the problem was me. I had been deeply entrenched in inductive study over the previous five years, and it had changed my life. I wanted that for everyone, and I couldn't understand why is wasn't happening.

 

I waited.

And I prayed for God to bring it to fruition.

And waited some more. (Not always patiently.)

 

Years later—years later—my husband took our congregation through some one-on-one discipleship curriculum. He matched everyone with a partner and provided material he'd written for them to go through together. At the end of the program, two women who had been paired up came to me with a desire to learn how to study the Bible. Part of the discipleship curriculum focused on spiritual disciplines of study and prayer. These two women asked to me to help them make this a habit, and I was thrilled. (I had to hold back on my enthusiasm, to be honest.)

 

It began with three of us, then four, then three, then five, then two. We stayed at about 3-4 for several years. Another woman from my church started a spin-off study on another day and time slot, and it grew quickly. To this day it is well-attended, I'm regularly encouraged by the growth of the ladies in my church who faithfully attend. The Tuesday afternoon study at my house, small though it was, continued. Every once in a while, it was just me. But it evened out to 3-4 women for several years. And I had to be content with a small but faithful group. Eventually, I was. And it became a source of great joy. If it never grew, that had to be okay. And it was. 

 

But then two new ladies started attending our church a year ago and plugged into the Bible study at my house. And they invited neighbors. And the group outgrew my dining room table. And now there are women of many ages, ethnicities, backgrounds, and stages of spiritual growth. The study looks completely different from what I imagined ten years ago, but it is beautiful. Each week we read a chapter of Scripture (we're over halfway through Exodus currently), and discuss what we've studied. The thing I prayed for became something other than what I had originally envisioned, and it involved others taking the lead, not me. 

 

It's very different from what I prayed for. But it's better. 

 

Sometimes God makes us wait for good things. As John Piper says, "God is always doing ten thousand things at once in your life, and you may be aware of three of them." God is working in the lives of His people in His timing in His ways. If He makes you wait, it's because He's orchestrating what will bring about His good purposes as He sees fit. And in the waiting, He's teaching you to look to Him. To trust Him with your hope. To hold loosely to what you want and to be open to what He might do instead. 

 

To quote Mark Vroegop, waiting isn't a waste. 

 

(Pertinent links:

 

This book has far exceeded even my wildest expectations, and I'm so encouraged for that indicates (to me, at least) that a number of people and churches are taking seriously the exhortation to hide God's Word in their hearts. Scripture memorization has changed my life, and I still work on it every single day. If you've not read Memorizing Scripture, I hope you will so that you feel both inspired and equipped to store up God's Word like the treasure it is. 

 

If you have read it, I'd greatly appreciate an honest review on Amazon and Goodreads. That helps other readers find the book and make the decision to read it. Thanks for a great year, reader-friends!

Okay, that's it for this month! Thank you for allowing me into your inbox. You're always welcome to hit reply and tell me what you're loving these days. I don't get to respond to every email, but I do read each one. 

 

May you taste and see that the Lord is good in every season of your life. I'll pop back into your inbox next month. Thank you for sharing your space with me! 

 

Blessings, 

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