A few weeks ago, I shared a
vague post on Instagram announcing that there was something significant happening in my life and I was taking a step back from social media for an unknown amount of time.
The dust is settling and I am ready to share what's going on…
My dad had a stroke. When I got the call from my mom, I immediately jumped on the first plane to Korea. That first week in ICU was incredibly hard. Thankfully, my dad is now stable and making improvements daily in an in-patient stroke recovery program. While this experience is and has been destabilizing to our family, it has also been the catalyst for many healing conversations that our family has needed to have for many years.
I am so grateful.
First of all, I am grateful my dad is alive and that while he has significant motor impairments, in many ways, he feels more HIMSELF than I ever thought was possible.
I am grateful for the nervous system and emotional alchemy work I have been a student and teacher of for over a decade. Even my work with animals (aka non-verbal sentient beings deserving of understanding and consent) is showing up with how I communicate with my dad. In many ways, it feels like the work has been leading me to this moment of space-holding for myself and my family.
I am grateful for my husband who shares the same priorities as me. He has taken on the work of tending the land, garden and creatures while I am away. He has also made it clear that he wants me to stay in Korea as long as I need to.
And I know this is by design, I am grateful and surprised by it nonetheless…I am grateful that I get to practice what I share about business. Business is a spiritual practice. Business is not inherently extractive. Business does not have to be dysregulating to your nervous system or your soul. My business is and has been taking care of me all along like a good partner.
As soon as I knew I was in for a long journey alongside my parents, I pulled all my group programs for 2024 and sent out refunds. I communicated with my 1:1 clients and gave them a chance to decide if they'd like to continue working with me knowing that I will need them to be flexible with changes happening in our family.
I am blown away by the support and compassion my clients and friends have shown me. I am grateful my community sees me as a human with very human things to tend to.
2024 is going to look very different than what I had planned.
I have rented an apartment close to my dad's hospital and it looks like my pup Ruby and I will be here for the next 4-6 months. The plan is to be here through my dad's 3 month in-patient rehab recovery and then an additional month or so to help him and my mom transition to their life at home.
Tending to my father after his stroke is shifting my tectonic plates. Most of my time is spent speaking words that feels foreign to my tongue and writing my way home. As a family, we are asking important questions about sovereignty and what it means to build a meaningful life. I am careful to weave my words with love for land and my family, both chosen and ancestral, elemental and human. Together, we are untangling the pain of what happens when love is felt but unexpressed. We are doing the hard work of repairing what has been ruptured for generations. I feel our ancestors holding space as we have conversations that we've needed to have for years. The importance of language has never felt more important.
