The other day we were at one of our best friend’s houses and their teenage daughter asked me if I knew that my name had some negative connotations attached to it. I decided to play along and act completely surprised… “Karen? What are you talking about???”... What ensued was a good 5 minutes of going back and forth between her utter shock and enthusiasm for the opportunity to tell me all the ways that my name has a really bad rap. Eventually, I let her in on the joke… and the entire room burst into laughter for a variety of reasons. Namely, because in the year of our Lord, “Karen” has really made a name for herself. 

 

To really just double down on my awareness, I’ll go ahead and let everyone in on a little secret. Rarely, like actually never, do I give out my name in public. Think Starbucks, or a restaurant host stand, online orders… often, I say my name is either Eleanor or Dorothy. The best is when I get stopped and told how much they LOVE my name. One time I was giving the barista my name and when I told her “Dorothy” she responded with: “What! Dorothy? I can’t believe your mom named you that - what a cool name!” I had to come clean… and then she laughed with me and understood why I am not too keen on hearing “Karen!” yelled across a shop to have all eyes watch me as I walk to grab my coffee. 

 

When I was leaving high school I asked some of my friends to call me by the name Ren - before the Karen thing was even a thing. It didn’t really take….. At the time, it was simply because I felt like the name Karen was synonymous with a 40-year old woman (this is from Jimmy Kimmel in 2021). Bless my heart - I knew I was onto something. When the rise of the Karen-memes started, I did the ultimate Karen thing and started introducing myself and asking new friends to call me Ren…. yep, I really did and sometimes still do.

It is just a name, right? Well yes….. But historically, names also carry a vast amount of weight. I remember when I named all three of my children the prayers and thoughts and responsibility I felt for titling them as they were introduced into this world. Eleanor, Tripp & Dorothy Grace (links to the blogs I wrote when they were born)…. You can read the why behind their names to know how we intentionally named our children in hopes that they would become and display the very meanings of their names.

 

But also…. It is just a name, right? As Shakespeare so poetically declares: “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet”... but to know a rose’s sweetness, you must actually come close to take it in. Agh, here we are. This is the point I think my heart is trying to get to…. 

 

We can’t deny it, stereotypes are there for a reason. But also, we have to admit that stereotypes can be really dangerous, hurtful and flat out wrong. Cheekily, when I do tell someone my name, I often follow it up with my hope to prove the stereotype wrong. Why? Because the world has decided that “Karens” are the worst…. And well, if I were to be known merely by my name, I guess you have to lump me into that sum. But I am so thankful that isn't the case - “Karen” is something to laugh about but obviously all Karens actually aren’t the worst. I won’t be everyone’s flavor and that is ok. You won’t be everyone’s flavor, and that is ok too. But… you and I both have worth, value and hopefully a whole lot of good to give, right?

 

I think it is unfortunate that my given name has such a bad rap - but you know what it does? It slows me down…. My kids tell me all the time “not to be a Karen” when an order is wrong, I have a question at a store or I voice my opinion about anything… they hope I don’t live up to the hype. And I obviously hope I don’t either. My name gives me the real-time opportunity to think before I speak, be slow to anger and quick to forgive…. Because you KNOW whomever I need to talk with is going to ask my name in our dialogue. Your name may not be Karen…. But do you practice slowing your reactions, comments, facials, posture and arguments? In your home, on the road, at a store or in a board meeting… wherever you are and whomever you are with?? I know that I genuinely have to pray for these self-denying responses.

 

The moments when I am a “Karen”.... Sure I have them, because I’m human, selfish, impatient, justice-seeking or legalistic. You’ve been a “Karen” in that right too, at some point. This is where we have to be weighty… are we fighting battles that are self-serving, are we picking battles that are crushing others, or are we out there doing our best to stand for what is true, lovely and honorable. I’ll be happy to “Karen”-up in those moments and pray that I have the strength, courage and wisdom to know the time, context and manner in which I “speak to the manager”.

Safe to say, mine is not a name that people put their trust in, but I strive to be a person people can trust. But you know what… regardless of my actual name, or yours, we ultimately will come to that conclusion about every imperfect person on this earth. We will all fail each other. We will all disappoint one another. We will all at some point or another put our needs above others. And that can feel really depressing or, I hope it can feel the opposite. Because the sentiment doesn't end there….

 

Do you know who’s Name I can put all my trust, faith, needs, confidence and care in? I am so thankful that where I am most inadequate, He is all in all. I will fail myself and others, but the good thing is that I’m not the one that all depends on - for from HIM, through HIM and to HIM belongs ALL things. He is The Name above all names, King of kings, Lord of lords, Alpha and Omega, First and the Last, Faithful and True. His Name is a Strong Tower…. We run to it, we run to Him, and we are saved (in this life and for eternity). Do you know Him? I’d love to tell you more about the one who’s Name is written on my heart. He’s taken the most “Karen” girl ever… and He gets all the credit for my life transforming from the stereotype of being the worst to a life being sanctified. I rest in His Name, not mine. I plead Jesus.

 

Proverbs 18:10

The name of the Lord is a strong tower;

   the righteous man runs into it and is safe.

 

Psalm 20:7

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

   but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

My actual nieces and nephews call me Karen… but there are a few framily friends who have deemed me Aunt Rennie. It is my favorite. 

Also, sorry mom… I know you love the name Karen. I can't help the world demonizing it, but I laugh along and hopefully prove every stereotype surrounding the notion untrue.