It's happening. The kids are going back to school soon! Many of you are also headed back to the world of education. And while some of us (it's me. It's really me) are looking forward to quiet in the home office for a few hours, many Neurodivergent adults are feeling all the feels in the face of a big life transition. If your neurospicy kiddos are freaking out at the thought of a new school year…same here. Many of us are also scrambling and bubbling over with our own adult anxiety.
•who's dropping off/picking up
•what's the aftercare plan?
•what if my kid doesn't like their new teacher?
•not looking forward to stressing about their 504/IEP implementation with a whole new group of teachers
•kiddos going to new schools have new school anxiety
•the activity schedule feels like a game of chess that I'm not sure we can win
•therapy appts
•doctor appts.
•are we SERIOUSLY still having trouble with ADHD med shortages? COME ON.
•Why are none of the clothes soft enough, the right material, or exactly like the ones from last year?
•And just when I thought I had worked through the trauma of my own pre-calc days, here we are buying someone else a Ti-83.
It's a LOT. A few reminders from me to you, (and also me to me.) It will be ok. Neurodivergent brains love predictability. They love routine, and they really really want everything to go according to the plan. So remember that the feeling of “oh no this is awful and existential and terrible and I want off this ride” that comes up with big changes is your brain saying, “I feel like we are dying" because that's what anxiety is. So you are wired to want the homeostasis that we just don't get to have this time of year. You can remind your brain that we are not dying, it just REALLY feels like it. To combat this awful, ongoing anxiety, plan new routines. Set yourself up for morning successes by planning for future you. Habit stacking is a great way to help you remember to do things that are easily forgotten. Pair one thing that is hard to remember or do with something you have to do.
•When I brush my teeth at night, I will lay out my meds for the next day, so I see them when I wake up, and I won't forget."
Your brain will, over time think of those two things together as a set, which will help create a new routine. And WE LOVE AND NEED ROUTINES.
If you have kids, include them in this. They need the practice too. They can also pick out their clothes, set alarms, and pack lunches the night before. AND THEY SHOULD. (Someone tell my husband and my kids this.) (Please.)
Also, pair some of these hard changes with new exciting ones. Think of your own sensory experience, special interests, and energy boosters…
For example, I have a long afternoon of driving kids everywhere on Wednesdays, so I will try a new weighted lap pad in the car, schedule a Dunkin trip on the way AND I will load up my phone with Podcasts I didn't have 5 seconds to listen to all summer because there is always someone in the car with me! My husband uses his driving time to listen to podcasts with our kids. They get SUPER excited about it, and the topics seem to regularly come up at dinner. Get them in on the new routine perks too. Fridays are for ice cream after school! Your brain will learn to look forward to the good stuff that comes along with the not so exciting stuff.
Also also, do not be afraid of leaning on supports during times of transition. It's ok to order take-out for lunch, have the groceries delivered, or pay for something you need help with. Do not guilt yourself for needing to push the easy button when you need it.
Also also also, if you are med positive…take your meds. Seriously. Many of us don't think we are anxious when we're super anxious. We think “I hate this time of year.” or “I'm just stressed out" or “I just hate doing X, Y, or Z”…all anxiety. Meds help. Especially PRN meds (as-needed) that help with body based anxiety.
So if the thought of your kid's “I'm on a new sportsball team” parent meet and greet has you spiraling…or sitting in traffic for pickup, or for my teachers…Teacher training week and all those icebreakers…meds can help.
We will all get through this! And then…election season. 🤪
