1. History of palpitations, panic attacks, overwhelm and shallow breathing
2. Guilt is your first name and unworthiness your second, especially with misplaced guilt (i.e it’s always all my fault, I have to save/change everyone, I am to blame) and misplaced compassion (it’s ok to treat me badly because I understand your story)
3. Clutter (including dust, dirt and untidy parts of the house and having too many tabs open on the browswer) or hoarding (including old emails) or both
4. Don't want to get out of bed in the morning/tired even after sleeping/procrastination
5. Unbearable demands are being made on your time, energy and money/ stressed and overwhelmed often
6. Are emotional without knowing what the emotion is
7. Distrust, paranoa, suspicious (fear everyone is out to take something from you/cheat you/rob you); hypervigilant and hyper-alert all the time
8. Difficulty giving/doing or receiving/acknowledging or both
9. Dealing with narcissistic abuse and gaslighting/bullies/controlling people at work/home/childhood
10. Regurgitating and over thinking old grudges and resentment
11. Deep fomo/fear of being left out/ fear of someone else taking over and getting more attention or validation/ You know you need a break from work but just cannot let it happen
12. Often feel overlooked, invalidated, unappreciated, unimportant and settle for lesser (with money or people)
13. Deep sense of alone and loneliness/ unhappy but don’t know what to do about it
14. Any feedback feels like criticism/ rejection and brings up panic, shrill defensiveness, tears, anger or deflection
15. Hasty, jumpy, breathless or holding breath when someone else is speaking or not listening to you/ can’t wait till it is your turn to speak
16. Cannot relax, rest, sleep well or pursue leisurely activities without guilt, fear or tension; it isn't safe to have fun and there are secret fears that someone will find out
17. Rushing, rushing, rushing, doing doing doing without any well defined goal or end result; no balance between work and play
18. Highly insecure, especially financially/professionally
19. Cannot be alone beyond a coupla hours and do not know what solitude means
20. Difficulty in acknowledging mistakes and saying sorry, especially in personal relationships (you need to be right all the time)
21. Believe that worry is a sign of care, especially as a parent
22. You do not like the word anxiety and are secretly terrified/resentful that someone will say you are
23. You prefer to look for external solutions instead of internal answers
24. Burping or belching excessively
25. The fear of failure is as strong as the fear of success
26. Always need to know where others are and what they are doing, especially in the family
27. Living with imposter syndrome as a way of life
28. Your relationships and friendships are primarily work based/one person based (like boyfriend or girlfriend or brother or sister or husband or wife)
29. Dealing with acidity/ allergies/ asthma/ skin disorders/ headaches/ carpal tunnel/ arthritis/ bloating/ hormonal imbalance/ PCOD/ tinnutus/vertigo
30. Often have sore, painful tightness and stiffness in the body and it takes time to leave
31. Have a loud inner critic you cannot shut off/ over thinking
32. Excitement means happiness and you crash in the absence of that
33. Have chronic fatigue/adrenal fatigue and judge it/are ashamed of it
34. Have to take care of or constantly please a parent or partner or sibling
35. Discussions around feelings or emotions in the family are strictly prohibited/avoided
36. Some situations are stressful but when they pass, so does the stress
37. Feel relief or doubt when a job is done instead of joy and pride; believe that stress and pressure is the only way to get things done/achieve
38. It's getting harder to be organised and sorted (mentally, physically, emotionally or environmentally)
39. Having the same triggers over and over and often with the same people
40. Motor mouthing (speaking fast, speaking too much, afraid of listening, interrupting conversations frequently, repeating the same story of grudge or resentment for years) or painfully shy and unable to speak up at all
41. Have obvious OCDs and phobias, especially agorophobia (the fear of going out of the house)
42. You have anxious, insecure, annoying or narcissistic parent or parents
43. Having trouble focusing, concentrating and get distracted easily - listening is becoming harder (just give me what I want, I don’t want to listen to you)
44. You were sent to boarding school at an early age/ left house at an early age
45. Your parents are highly accomplished
46. Shopping is exciting but you get deflated at the payment counter
47. Addictions, including gambling, over working, scrolling digitally, thrill seeking activities
48. Decisions take many conversations and going back and forth
49. It's scary to feel; you prefer to think and live in your head
50. You need time off after meeting people or exercising
51. History of mental illness or suspected mental illness in the family
52. Negate or dismiss trauma or abuse (as if you never went thro it)
53. Tics, twitches, knee tapping, cramps show up often or did as a child
54. hunched bunched shoulders, top half of body is forward, poor posture
55. numbness, emotional eating, belly padding (all come together)
56. Tongue or jaws feel heavy or mouth salivates more than normal often/in some situations
57. Difficulty crying or crying often
58. Cannot bear to be questioned about anything
59. Living with constant pressure and often justifying it; you cannot imagine achieving anything without it and could be wearing many hats at home and work
60. Relationship issues or conflicts - should you stay or should you go? (This can show up at jobs too)
61. Stubborn weight gain or sudden weight shedding
62. Disproportionate responses (everything feels like life and death)
63. Negativity and chronic worries (cannot imagine good outcomes, tendency to crib and complain/ always assuming the worst in any situation of ourselves and others)
64. Still to recover from the loss of a parent, however long back the event was
65. Tendency to make pichak and umm, aa sounds while speaking
66. Feel shaky and trembling when standing up for yourself or asking for yourself/ conflict avoidant to maintain people pleasing
67. Black and white/ All or nothing mindset; if the pain is still there but has reduced, the focus will be on what is remaining, not what has shifted
68. If you are aren’t killing yourself (to prove something), you aren’t doing it right
69. Putting up with ill-treatment or over-compromising or having many reasons to stay where unhappy (unconscious masochism, martyrdom and victimhood)
70. There’s a lot to deal with alone
71. Jealous, insecure and competitive, even with strangers (anxious and fearful that someone else may be better than you)
72. Often feel left out in a group and prefer one on one conversations
73. One on one’s are difficult so prefer groups
74. Waiting for a family, neighbour, dog, cat, friend, to change
75. Easily startled and have extra sensitive nose and ears such that it is impacting sleep
76. Patterns of rejection and abuse starting from childhood
