Dear First name / Friend,
I'm so excited to introduce you to Samuel Parker DuBois.
Sam joined our family on Tuesday, August 20. We had a wonderful experience at Rose Medical Center in Denver and are eternally grateful for the team health professionals who supported us on our journey.
Ben and I are enjoying being new parents and strengthening our partnership as we love on Sam.
Here are four things I've learned during the first month of parenthood:
1 - Take each day one step at a time
It's easy to engage in black or white thinking when you're stressed, sleep deprived, and caring for an infant. But the reality is, the baby is changing and growing every day and no day looks the same. If I am having a rough time, I take a deep breath and remind myself that tomorrow will feel different.
2 - Relish the present moment
The other day a friend asked me what my favorite part of being a mom is. I shared with her: “I think it’s this rare opportunity to connect with my baby and be fully present with him, without worrying about other things going on."
When I am with Sam and holding him, I try my best to stay fully engaged. I get rid of distractions and just look at him in awe. I know that this chapter will go by fast, and moments with Sam as a newborn are sacred. I don't want to look back and be disappointed that I wasn't a present parent.
3 - Don't measure your worth by your productivity
Becoming a parent puts you on the fast track for tempering your expectations of how much you get done on a typical day. As someone who struggled with this before becoming a mom, I've learned how important it is for me to move through the day without getting attached to any outcomes. And more importantly - to be kind to myself no matter what gets done.
Instead of crafting to-do lists, I'm keeping a journal handy with my “joy list.” I jot down things that I'd ideally like to get done if time allows (note: a shower is usually on the list). I remind myself that being productive doesn't make me a good mom, and that I am doing a great job.
4 - Get clear on your needs and ask for help
During this first chapter of motherhood, I am trying to be intentional about saying “yes” to help that I need - even if it feels uncomfortable at times. I'm also trying to communicate my needs in a proactive way and say “no” when something doesn't serve me.
A friend of mine gave me the powerful insight that during the first six weeks of parenthood, everyone's focus should be caring for the birthing parent. Since I am caring for Sam while healing my body, Ben's primary role is to care for me and care for Sam when I need to care for me. This shared mindset has brought us clarity when it comes to decision-making.
. . .
As I reflected on my insights with Sam, I realized how applicable they are to life outside of parenthood.
Since there are just four months left of 2024, I'm offering you four journal prompts to help you navigate the rest of the year with intention.
1 - Where in your life are you getting ahead of yourself or worrying too much about the future?
2 - What could it look like for you to be more present with yourself and others? How can you minimize distractions throughout the day?
3 - In what situations could you shift your mindset from productivity to joy?
4 - Where in your life do you need to get clear on your own needs? How can you communicate them in a more effective way?
If you're feeling inspired by these prompts, I'd love to hear back from you. Reply to this email with one reflection you had.
With gratitude,
