Spiral, Solitude, and Stupid Encores

Happy September!

countdown to fall spiral

Let's get the tough stuff out of the way. The rest of the newsletter will be very pleasant.

Neurodiverse brains really spiral when Daylight Savings robs us of our daylight in the fall. Listen, I didn't make these rules, I just know that “Fall Ahead” week is the WORST week all year for mental health in my ND practice. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.

So this year…let's plan for it?

•Maybe we don't have any big stressful responsibilities or plans that week.

•Maybe we plan to up our sensory comforts that week and buy a new soft blanket for a warm, fuzzy nap, or we have some pumpkin spice something to drink

•Maybe we plan a low energy zoom call with someone who we love

•Maybe we book an extra therapy session the week before

•Maybe we start talking with our prescriber now if this is a problem in years past, some adults adjust their meds seasonally or incorporate an as-needed med for anxiety

•Maybe we accept that ND brains like predictability, good weather, outdoor time, and seasons that don't hurt our faces when we walk outside…and it's totally ok to crumble when all of this changes overnight.

•Maybe we think of something we love during this time of year that we can plan to do that will help us to associate something positive with the loss of daylight (hayride? make butternut squash soup? fire pit?)

•Maybe we think of life hacks that would help us in colder seasons, like a towel warmer, a heated blanket, or a new coffee mug for some warm beverage.

•If all else fails, it's hoodie season. I'll be celebrating this and every year!

In professional news: big fun Neurodivergent therapist excitement

•I just completed my Neurodiversity Sexuality Professional Certification. Woo hoo!

•A collaboration with the fabulous Tammy Nelson and yours truly was recorded last week! If you're a therapist and you're interested in the intersection of Autism and sex/connection, I'll be sure to let you know where you can find this when it's available.

•I'm providing a “Neurodivergence in the Workplace” training for Anne Arundel Public library system coming up next week!

•Understanding and Supporting PDA Individuals training coming up in Boston this month! (and YES I am seeing Hannah Gadsby while I'm there!)

•DC Area Regional Workshop on PDA in November

• A big HUGE publication and an even bigger opportunity to speak on ND to the therapy world coming up early in 2025. FREAKING OUT WITH EXCITEMENT. Will shout from the rooftops when I'm allowed to.

Reminder: Neurodivergent brains need solitude. Every day. Even if they have great partners, cool roommates, awesome kids. Solitude is not a luxury, it is a necessity.

Fun scripts to try:

“I'm really feeling overwhelmed. I need a few minutes to recharge. I'll be in my room for half hour. Think about what you want for dinner when I get back.”

“Today was brutal at work. Can we plan to talk about your day after I take a few minutes to go for a walk?”

“I need some me time. I'll have my headphones on upstairs so I won't be able to hear you. See you before dinner!”

If you're not ready for a script: hide in the bathroom. This solves a lot of Neurodivergent problems.

Mini-rant? Encores are stupid. Let's just plan to play 3 more songs, k?

The Andreas crew loves live music. Two hours into the Manchester Orchestra concert last night, they predictably did the abrupt, “thanks, goodnight" and fled the stage. We feigned shock and disappointment, cheered loudly, and they came back and finished then show. Why is this so annoying to me?

Maybe two hours of Loop earbuds had me too deep in my own head, but WHY WHY WHY do we do this? It reminds me of the group dinner dynamic where everyone grabs for the check in a showy fake fight of who will pay.

According to google:

•The word encore comes from the French word meaning "again'. The tradition of encores can be traced back to at least the 18th century when there was no recorded music and audiences had to wait for live performances. (It must have been super rough to stim back then).

•They allow the band to catch their breath (I absolutely support the band breathing. Take a break. Anytime you want. We'll wait. You don't have to pretend to end the show.)

•Bands see this as a way to reward the audience with a song or more (I would like to be rewarded with predictability, a walk to the door without a human stampede, and a sub 3 hour parking garage exit).

•Encores can allow the band to play a song again if they noticed the crowd enjoyed it the first time. (OH SNAP! Is this a thing? I think I speak for the entire ND community when I say, yes please. Over and over and over. Let's stim that song for hours. Can we pay extra for this? Who gets to pick? Can we vote?) (Also, does this happen? I have never seen a song get repeated).

•The audience's demand for more music is considered the most complementary form of applause for the performers (but also…they're pre-planned, so really…is it demand?)

Thanks, end rant.

Also, if you love a good special interest monologue rant, please check out my Instagram reel today where I tell you why Dave Portnoy's entire pizza rating system is garbage and outline how I would do a far better job.

I'm done. Really.

Neurodivergent Community Resources

If you'd like more information, contact Shannon Lord (she/her). She is incredibly responsive and helpful.

Kory's reading corner: Lots of good reading going on lately! Have any recommendations? Tell me tell me!

I SUPER DUPER loved “Don't Forget to Write”. It is NOT a book about Autism, and it is fiction. Growth. This is growth for Kory.

enjoy!

Kory

Have something to say? Want to share? I'm here for it. Email me.

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