Hi lovely, I hope you've had great start to the week. 

 

 Apologies for the late email send out. I had my mind set on a psychology topic to share with you this week, but as I was writing, I began studying, and long story short I went down a huge rabbit hole for 3 hours and realized what a complex and controversial topic it was.  

 

As much as I think “done is better than perfect” can be helpful sometimes, I didn't feel I could do the topic justice. But once I do, I promise to share. It's a goody. 

 

 

I use this app in coaching which has a cool feature where I can set up a task reminder in the client portal, and label it - Daily Reflections or Daily Journal, Then specify journal questions based on the goals the client is working on and where their struggles are. 

 

 I had no idea this was going to be such an effective tool, but I've noticed a significantly strong association between the frequency of client reflection journalling, and the speed and consistency of change. 

 

Now if you feel like you've tried journalling and you just got confused about what you should even write, and didn't find it very helpful, then I get you. I was the same. 

 

I was somewhat traumatized by the amount of writing I did through my studies. I barely picked up a pen for over 5 years after I graduated, unless I was doing a short upskilling course. I associated writing with studying. And studying with stress. 

 

I also understand that when you have a very active brain, it can be hard to even put into words how you are feeling. So free flow journalling can be rather paralyzing. 

 

But there are different forms of journalling, and I'd like to share with you the ones that I've actually found really achievable. Even enjoyable. 

 

So far, I have found 4 types of journalling particularly helpful both in my personal life and for helping clients transform themselves. 

 

When I did my NLP practitioner training we were asked to draw, in pictures, our dream life. I was introduced to “Visioning”. My first page looked like something from a 5 year old, but my drawing skills have gradually improved over time. The same with handwriting. 

 

Everyday, we receive input from social media telling us what we “should” want, and what a happy, successful life looks like. Be very careful. If you don't get clear on what YOUR ideal life looks like, you will be tricked into thinking you want what someone else has. 

 

e.g. Successful business women living in London wearing designer brands - Do you even want to live in London? Where would you even wear those clothes, and which close friends would even care? 

e.g. Surfer chick who lives out of a van and travels full time - But would you miss your friends? Would you want to live in a van?

 

When you have a vision board of what you want life to look like, you can then compare your days with YOUR vision board and let THAT be your definition of success, rather than comparing to someone else's life on social media, (which is a representation of THEIR vision board). 

 

On my visioning page, I have riding horses along beaches, surfing, family beach days, bbq's with friends, boating, having dogs, having a thriving herb garden and fruit trees. A beachy themed home with interior influences from Greece, NZ and Bali. You can also do this as a vision board, taking pictures from Pinterest, putting them onto a word doc, printing it out and pinning up in your room. 

 

This is actually a fun exercise, and I recommend you update this vision journal/vision board every year. Reassessing your values and your idea of a beautiful life. My next one might even have chickens on it. (Feeling farm girl vibes more and more these days).  

 

 

There is this phenomenon called the blue dot effect, where even if things are going well in our life, if we are progressing, and over-coming challenges and technically moving forward, our brains will adapt and still seek out the threats or problems  in our life (watch this video). We also experience something called “hedonic adaptation”, where things that made us happy initially like a new relationship, getting the puppy, the promotion at work, the new house decor etc. start to just become the norm. We don't get the same happiness from them as we did when they first came into our life. 

 

The combination of the Blue Dot effect PLUS Hedonic Adaptation, sets us up for feelings of scarcity, negativity, worry, and a sense of not achieving. 

 

The solution? 

 

Conscious, daily recognition of what we DO have. Where we have been lucky, rather than unlucky. What are we grateful for. 

 

4. Wins Reflection Journalling - 

Where am I winning? 

What were my wins /what did I achieved today? 

What challenges came up, and how did I work through them?

 

That good old “Stuff it mentality”, “what's the point in trying”, is almost always linked to a lack of ability to see the wins, and a hyper fixation on the perceived areas of failure. 

 

The most unproductive thing you can do, is to beat yourself up for all the things you haven't done, leaving you feeling sad, un-accomplished and anxious. Which typically causes a halt in any forward action. 

 

Positivity = Productivity and progress.  

 

 

Yes I get you, and I'm not suggesting you give yourself a free pass for not doing the things you said you were going to do. I'm just saying, celebrate the wins, then reflect on the “challenges” (not failures), with curiosity not judgement. 

 

 

Just because we have the tools doesn't mean we always remember to use them. Say you learn the tool of mindful eating (slowing down when you eat, taking breaths between bites, and focusing on all the flavours). 

 

But this is a new tool, and your usual way of eating, (that habit way) is much more rushed, particularly with extra indulgent foods or when you get home from work really hungry. 

 

 You find yourself still resorting to the “habit way” even though you know you should slow down. How do you change that? 

 

 

The secret to significantly increasing the chances of using your tools in the moment when you need them, is to set the intention for that at the beginning of the day. 

 

“My intention today is when I get home form work feeling frantic and tired, to put a snack on a plate, and go and eat it slowly and mindfully". 

 

As you write, it helps to even visualize this in your mind. Literally imagining yourself coming in the door and responding to your trigger the way you want to. 

 

 

1. Buy a blank journal 

2. Pick one question from each category

(Visualization, Gratitude, Intention Setting, Wins' Reflections)

3. Put the questions headings at the top of each page

4. Have a go at answering your questions each day

 

 

 

See you next week 

Kim x