Good morning! It's 5:08am as I open this up to write to you. I woke up at 4:30am without an alarm, after a full night's sleep from 9pm, feeling actually quite rested so why not get up and get ahead on the day?
I often work with mums who feel like they are struggling to get any time to themselves because the household is awake and needing things from them by 6:30am. Which is still reasonably early! I'm only a dog mum, but I must say, the benefit of being up this early is that even my Kelpie Leah and my partner don't get up this early. Leah has followed me down into the kitchen but is now tucked up fast asleep again on the couch in a cute little ball.
I have a glorious hour to myself now with both dog and partner asleep, a coffee, and my noise cancelling headphones playing a song called “Cerce De Ti” - Hermanos Gutierrez. I think you will like it!
I started reading the 5am Club this week, Robin Sharma's other book. Did you end up getting The 8 Forms of Wealth book?
On to today's topic:
Weight loss is hard and stability doesn't mean you are failing
I often find myself helping women navigate the dismay, frustration and hopelessness that can come from not seeing the changes they were hoping for in their body even when they start to improve their eating and exercise habits.
We have to shift the narrative that “stability means failing” because the reality is, improvements in habits don't ALWAYS result in a directional change.
We can significantly improve our nutrition, sleep, and exercise habits, and start feeling better health wise, yet stay stable in our weight.
In the same way that we can feel like we are improving in our productivity and performance in work, yet not see any growth in our income, or not get a promotion.
This does not mean we are failing.
Stability does not = failure. It just means stability.
Are you doing a fair comparison,
and how many hats are you juggling?
I get it, it's hard when your brain is constantly pinning you up against other people.
Ask these questions:
Am I doing a fair comparison?
What assumptions am I making?
The reality is, you never know someone's full situation who is managing to achieve X goal. You don't know how many or how little hats they are juggling, OR where they started from.
That person who seems to have been able to lose weight, where did they start their journey? What sacrifices have they had to make? What else have they been juggling? How do I know that their body will even let them stay there? (Remember most weight loss typically comes back on over the next 6 months if it was done through a short term protocol). Is losing and gaining any better than stability?
I know female business owners feel the same sense of “not enough-ness and failure” when their business is stable rather than growing.
I STILL catch myself out, comparing what I have managed to achieve and create in 5 years with other female entrepreneurs. It's the same dialogue as the weight loss thoughts.
“Why have they been able to achieve this, and I haven't? We seem the same, I'm doing similar things, this doesn't make sense? It must mean I am just failing!?”
I invite you to consider how many hats you are having to juggle just to a achieve stability,
For example, you realize that although you have been working on your business or your career/PD over the last 5 years, you have also been working on:
Finding a healthy stable loving relationship with a partner
Your health and fitness
Your character - become a more healed version of yourself
Re-introducing childhood passions
Adding more travel memories to your books
Raising a dog or a child
Building new friendships and maintaining current ones.
Are the entrepreneurs/career women you compare yourself to trying to do all these things? Or have they removed the pressure and put most of these things on hold?
When you think about it, if you put all 7 of these things on hold for 5 years, I'm sure you would be just as productive as them.
The same goes for body composition goals. I can tell you from being in the body building industry, that those who reach optimal body compositions that look incredible, are living and breathing this health and fitness lifestyle.
They have no issues with the level of self-focus that it requires. The gym will take priority over catch ups with friends, or walking the dog, or sitting and chatting to a friend who really needs to talk. Date nights at restaurants have to be planned in advanced otherwise they can't happen.
Have you noticed that many body builders are either single or end up dating body builders? This avoids relationship arguments about time spent on food prep, and the way meal times and the exercise schedule dominate what they can and cannot do with each other.
Please know, you COULD dedicate everything about your life to becoming the leanest, meanest version of you, but are you actually willing to do that? Are you okay with more prioritization of your needs over others? Less flexibility, more repetition, more isolation?
Maybe yes, maybe no. Neither is “right” or “wrong”.
Just because your efforts are resulting in stability, doesn't mean you are failing. You are still making the effort!
You are ACHIEVING more than you are giving yourself credit for. Because you are doing your best to align all of your values, and working on multiple things, which some might say is even more of an achievement.
With love and support
Kim x
