How solving a binge episode puzzle is like
fixing a car
I had some great news today. My insurance company is going to cover the cost of repairs of my car to fix my oil light (the SYMPTOM). Which is a relief because the CAUSE is quite complicated with lots of pieces that need to be fixed and replaced.
Let's relate this to solving a binge eating puzzle…..
Whenever you find yourself doing behavior that doesn't serve you, over and over again, I encourage you to see it as a SYMPTOM for which the CAUSE needs to be investigated.
Let's apply this to binge-eating:
Most women don't realize that their binge-eating episodes, are just symptoms of something else that is going on, either nutritionally, emotionally or both. It's a message. A cry for help that something needs to change in their life. Whether it's their nutrition, lifestyle, how they view themselves or their priorities.
There are many things that can make an oil light turn on in your car. It could just be that the oil is low, or in my case it was complicated.
We can have the SAME SYMPTOM with a DIFFERENT CAUSE.
With binge-eating, there are certainly common causes that seem to be prevalent, but the combination of causes is still not the same for everyone. Hence why personalized investigation needs to take place.
Real life examples of different causes for the same symptom:
(I'll use different names for privacy here)
Binge-Eating Case Studies:
Client case study #1:
Nina came to me struggling with binge-purging in the afternoons. She noticed this was particularly bad after a few nights of shift work with minimal sleep, and when she was trying to limit carbohydrates in her meals. She also noticed that if she didn't follow through with her exercise plans after eating, she would feel guilty, which was another binge episode trigger. Her body image wasn't great. Despite being fit and healthy, she still felt like she needed to lose weight, and the fear of weight gain after a binge lead her to purge it back up again.
Causes:
Tiredness/Lack of sleep
Under fueling / Nutrient Deficient
Bad body image
Guilt and Fear of weight gain
Pressure around exercise
Client Case Study #2:
Jackie came to me struggling with binge eating. She exercised regularly and was getting all her nutrient requirements every day because she was very organized, she weighed and measured all her food and tracked her calories so she was eating enough. But she struggled a lot with her body image and her mental health. On the days she was feeling bad about her body, she would binge eat as a form of self-sabotage. She was a perfectionist - If she ate something “off plan” she would see the whole day as ruined, and then she would just start again with being healthy tomorrow. She also didn't allow herself any “yum” in her meals. So despite being well fueled, she was very rarely “satisfied” from food.
Causes:
Poor body image/Lack of self-acceptance
Perfectionism
All or nothing mentality
Not enough YUM from diet
Client Case Study #3
Emma came to me struggling with binge eating. She really valued her work, and her relationships, and put them ahead of her own self-care. She lived off coffee all morning and regularly worked through her lunch break. She would finish work feeling physically and mentally exhausted, and if there was a conflict with a colleague at work, she would stop in at the supermarket on the way home to get binge food to numb the feelings. She would get home so tired and hungry, it was easier to just get take-aways. This food was then eaten very quickly, without mindfulness, and way past her fullness cues leaving her feeling really yuck and uncomfortable afterwards. The cycle repeated day after day.
Cause:
Viewing self-care as selfish - Prioritizing others over self
Lack of nourishment = Low energy
Ignoring hunger and fullness cues
Dealing with emotions using food
Eating quickly rather than mindfully
Ignoring it or getting frustrated at it, doesn't solve the issue:
(I did both of these things with my car then finally took it to a mechanic).
My oil light is showing. I can tell it to go away, ignore it, put a sticker over it, get frustrated at it. But none of these things help. And if I don't fix it, it will only get worse and lead to bigger problems down the track. I have to take the car apart, do a thorough diagnosis, figure out what is going on, and then fix it piece by piece.
The same goes for breaking unhelpful habits:
It might be something really simple and cheap. e.g. I just need this one part put back in. Easy!
(Example: I just need to add more carbs to my main meals)
Or it could be more complicated.
You might need to fix a few different parts, or replace parts all together
(e.g. Replacing old negative thoughts about your body with new positive thoughts).
You might have to upgrade to more expensive fuel to keep your motor running
(e.g. Investing money and time in better quality food).
“But I don't want to do this work!”
REALITY CHECK:
Unlike cars, you can't just trade your mind and body in for a newer model. You've got to work with what you've got until you drop it off at the other end when you eventually leave this world.
The question is, how long are we going to go through life not knowing what our car needs to function? How all the pieces work together, and what kind of self-care it needs to not break down on us?
It's time to start the self-learning process, and to do so with a bit more love and appreciation for what our car ( mind and body) has done for us for far.
P.S. ALL DAMANGE CAN BE FIXED
Binging, alcohol, sugar addiction, exhaustion, anxiety, these are NOT SIGNS that you have a shit car, or that you are hopelessly damaged. They are just “warning” lights on your dashboard saying - “Help! Please investigate me!"
I believe in self-help first and foremost. It's amazing what you can learn just through careful observations, daily reflection, and drawing on your own tools and innate problem solving skills. At least give it a try. But your time is also a precious resource, so if you get stuck on the problem for too long, it's okay to ask for help.
The reality is, sometimes we need to seek outside help for things because we lack the tools in our tool box, or the knowledge on how to make the diagnosis. So if you are finding yourself stuck even after trying, the next step is to ask for help from those who have the right tools and can pass those tools over to you SO that you CAN fix your own car.
This is the whole point in having a coach. It's not that coaches fix you. It's that we help you to diagnose, and pass you the tools so that you can fix the issues yourself if they ever pop up again.
Question to ask yourself this week:
Are there any warning lights flashing on my dashboard that need investigating? (e.g. unhelpful eating habits/patterns, physical or mental health struggles or pain)
Is there anything that I've been trying to fix on my own for too long, and it's time to upgrade my tools?
You can apply this to any area of you life, whether it's work, parenting, or your health.
Now as you know, my expertise is in binge eating, yoyo-dieting, and weight and body image struggles. If you've been stuck with one of these things for a bit too long and need a nudge or an invitation to get some help, this is that nudge…
