👋 Hi First name / friend, 

 

I feel like I’m showing up to my professor’s office to say that the dog ate my homework…

 

This newsletter was drafted to go out three weeks ago on the first day of a road trip I’d planned for six months to fulfill my Ken Keseyien high school fever dream, driving west on Route 66.

 

But, as you can probably guess from the image of my car being towed away… the plan doesn’t always pan out. Did I spiral at first? Of course. 

 

Fight-or-flight kicked in and my brain thought it was about to die. 

 

But here’s the “win”: I snapped out of it — not by forcing positivity, but by staying curious about why it was happening.

 

 

Over the years, I’ve learned to embrace "unsafe" feelings within safe boundaries — like a rollercoaster. The incredible engineering and safety checks that go into a rollercoaster ride create freedom within fear. 

 

It feels dangerous, but you know you’re safe — and that makes it fun. 

 

Without structure, “play” can become unsafe and unfun (just ask any professional dominatrix 😉).

 

The day I took that photo, I drove to Trinidad Lake for one last sunrise before hitting the road. Almost there, my car gave out on a two-lane highway, right where the speed limit jumps from 35 to 65.

 

In the middle of my meltdown, a cowboy pulled up and pushed my car off the road. Then, a single mom stopped on the way to drop off her son at school, handed me a tissue, and called the Toyota dealership where she works to bump me to the front of the line at the shop.

 

When I got there, the front desk woman said, “Do you want the bad news or the bad news?” My engine had mechanically failed, but she gave me an insider tip: I should make a deal with Jolly, the scrap guy, instead of paying the dealership to dispose of it.

 

Jolly offered me cash on handshake deal, but I ended up selling it to a young mechanic who offered me more money and who can replace the engine and give it a second life.

 

Without my beloved Subaru, I tried to book the Southswest Chief from Trinidad to Sedona. But after the second train I booked got canceled, I began asking myself this question…

 

 

The truth is, planning every detail doesn’t make you safer, and it robs you of flow. But refusing to plan at all leaves you in freefall with no safety net.

 

Looking back, I got exactly what I’d hoped for from the road trip — an unexpected, much needed slowdown. Not what I’d planned, but exactly what I needed.

 

The real skill here is knowing how to tap into the play and curiousity, despite what’s going on around you. How do you return to your container of safety, in any situation?

 

That brings me to this week’s template — the new rules.

 

 

Think of them as the boundaries of your container of safety – the personal commandments that you live by to keep you safe.

 

For example:

Unlike values that frame your life’s purpose, these are the rules you promised you’d never break after learning certain lessons one too many times.

 

Working within these boundaries can turn the out-of-control feelings into a flow.

 

This template will clarify your new rules — so that when things inevitably don’t go as planned, you have a container of safety to get out of fight-or-flight and back into flow.

 

 

Most coaches will lead you to water, but they won’t hand you a water bottle. They’ll teach you how to follow their system, so you have to come back for more. I’m not interested in that.

 

I’m not not a coach. My goal is to show you how to teach yourself — that’s the most powerful skill you can have in a world profiting from conformity.

 

Let’s create your rules so you can break them.

 

✌️ Catch you next time, Daryl Oh

 

P.S. Remember, these templates work on their own or as part of The OS — your complete Notion Life Operating System.

 

If you’ve been collecting each template so far, you’re a rockstar! 

 

You’re already on your way to building an OS that works for you. Stick with it, and by year’s end, you’ll have my entire Notion system, The Blueprint — for free.

 

The ‘Hands of Trinidad’ Photo Book

The Hands of Trinidad project is a pubic art initiative made possible by the sales of the photography book and the generous support of The Sharon Prize Grant.

@not_not_daryl