Passing our stories on.
Recently I witnessed a really beautiful example of the importance of passing on the stories from our life to others.
Last month, I got to help my daughter's boyfriend, Travis, purchase a home for them. We had looked at quite a few homes and finally found the one. It was a gem of a place that had been owned by the same family for nearly 60 years (first owned by an uncle and then later his niece and her family).
Travis, Ellie and I were scheduled to go to the house and take measurements before they closed on it. I arrived about 10 minutes early. I saw the elderly man and his wife who were selling the home sitting in front of their garage. In sharing this story I will call them Tony and Sofia which is fitting, since they love their Italian heritage!
When I got out of my truck, he had gotten up and said, “You must be Amy!” in a wonderfully cheerful way. Then he said, “Do we have to leave while they are here? Or could we stay and meet them?” I already knew Travis and Ellie would love to meet these folks so I said, “Please stay! They want to know about your memories here!”
A few minutes later, once everyone had arrived, I got to watch the most fantastic interaction of people who had cared for and loved a home through the decades of raising kids and grandkids share meaningful memories with the couple that was going to take over the love and care of this home.
Tony slowly walked us through his woodworking shop behind the garage and reminisced about the different projects he had made. He showed how each grandkid had written their name on their special tools. Sofia walked Ellie through the vast backyard flower beds and the fenced-in garden, telling her about which seeds to save for next year, what comes up first in the spring, and what she will see last in the fall.
Nearly two hours after we arrived, long after the time that we were scheduled to leave, I walked out the back door to the patio and saw Travis and Tony sitting around the patio table, smoking celebratory cigars that Tony had been saving for a special occasion.
Just before I left, Sofia pulled me aside and with tears in her eyes said, “Thank you all for caring enough to hear our stories. This has been a really tough week for us. We heard that buyers and sellers don’t get to meet each other anymore, and that made us really sad that they wouldn’t know the history and stories of this house. Now we know the love of this home will continue on through these two.”
Travis is already planning to invite Tony over for a poker night soon, and Ellie will share flowers from the garden with Sofia next spring.
Whether it’s a moment like this with Tony and Sofia, or listening to your uncle, your parents, or your friend tell you stories of their life. It's not just a great gift to yourself and to the storyteller, it creates connection between you, and it carries on that person after they are gone.
I recently started telling Ellie a story and paused and said, “Have I told you this before?” she said “Mom, when you tell me stories over again it's good, because my generation is in charge of remembering and sharing our ancestors stories. It's one way I will know them by heart”.
Enough said.
Whose stories can you hear this month? Go ahead, invite someone to share. You will be glad you did.
Namaste,
Amy
Amy Machacek Shonka
Home, Health, & Relationships
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